Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it's sexy but one thing… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You can refer to god and you are really just talking about nature. If you are going to say the universe is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I'm definitely good. I'm not bad; I'm extremely honest, and I allow no bullshit to pass by my radar. And that will… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't think George Bush is a good president by any imagination, but when he said, 'If you're talking to Al-Quaeda, we… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think Democrats are complacent. They think that Russia is going to save us. Bob Mueller is going to come in with… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Naturally the smart thing to do to solve your economic woes is to demonize the Democrats. And of course, Sarah Palin is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Since the Icelandic volcano obviously needs a virgin sacrifice and the Catholic Church obviously needs new leadership the Pope must volunteer to… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
John Kerry made a joke about Bush being a moron, and now Bush wants morons to think it was a joke was… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. That's something I value. Fairness, kindness, generosity, tolerance. That's different.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think we do sympathize. And a lot of us think a lot of what Snowden did was great, and you're abetting… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Some people think I enjoy debate. I don't. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I couldn't run for any office. I think that religion is bad, weed is good, and babies are disgusting; who would vote… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To even win a nomination in this country, you have to say you're a person of great faith. You have to pledge… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I just don't think a lot of Republicans like it when single women have sex. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
The NRA made an ad saying that Obama is elitist because his kids have armed guards. Yeah, that crazy Obama thinking his… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I want to just take a moment to thank the Teabaggers. Thank you so much for helping us pass health care, for… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: If you still think Obama is a Muslim, you just might be a redneck. A Christian church in South Carolina… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I think girls hate each other, no doesn't always mean no, you have to lie to stay married, women's sports are boring… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
It takes the youth, really; they're the ones that should have the energy, it shouldn't be the old geezers, but the signs… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
As a comedian, I think we all look for those areas where the truth diverts from what people are saying. That's why… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't think all life is precious. I know people say that all the time, "Life is precious." I think some life… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad`s room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
