President Quotes by Jay Leno

President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money.

— Jay Leno

Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden.

— Jay Leno

Another air traffic controller fell asleep on the job, but he had a good excuse. He was watching President Obama’s deficit speech.

— Jay Leno

According to CNN, Donald Rumsfeld said the war in Iraq did not go according to plan. And President Bush said, 'What? We…

— Jay Leno

President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.

— Jay Leno

President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.

— Jay Leno

Not a good night for President Obama. He lost elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and he's not doing good in Afghanistan either.

— Jay Leno

When a candidate walks away from a reality show, that's when you know they're serious about being president of the United States.

— Jay Leno

President Bush and Bill Clinton both agree that cloning is morally wrong. Clinton said that he thinks humans should be made the…

— Jay Leno

President Obama flew to a rally in Las Vegas last night. However, he did not visit any of the casinos. You know…

— Jay Leno

Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd…

— Jay Leno

Is it me or is President Bush's life starting to sound like a country song. He's from Texas, his dog just died,…

— Jay Leno

Today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he…

— Jay Leno

We had President Obama on the show last night. I think the president enjoys visiting NBC because we're the only place that…

— Jay Leno

President Bush said global warming is happening much quicker than he thought, and then his staff pulled him aside and said 'It's…

— Jay Leno

President James Garfield could write in Latin with one hand while writing in Greek with the other. I would give my right…

— Jay Leno

The Obama administration has admitted that under Obamacare, you might not be able to keep your doctor. At first the president guaranteed…

— Jay Leno

Former Vice President Al Gore starring in a new documentary about global warming. I believe it's called [Leno snores]. ... The film…

— Jay Leno

For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that…

— Jay Leno

President Bush said that American workers will need new skills to get the new jobs in the 21st century. Some of the…

— Jay Leno

President Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony…

— Jay Leno

The big story now is that President Bush is coming under attack for his service in the National Guard. The White House…

— Jay Leno

Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move…

— Jay Leno

I think there's one more thing Perry can forget, too: Being president.

— Jay Leno

Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America.

— Jay Leno

President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States.

— Jay Leno

The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump.

— Jay Leno

When President Chirac gave [President] Bush a souvenir statue of the Eiffel Tower... Bush said 'This is great! A little oil rig!'

— Jay Leno

It looks like President Obama has a new campaign slogan: 'Yes I Did.'

— Jay Leno

Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare.

— Jay Leno

President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed.

— Jay Leno

President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.

— Jay Leno

President Bush called Arnold to congratulate him today, and after he got off the phone, Arnold said, 'I thought my English was…

— Jay Leno

Folks, tomorrow America will get to hear those four words we've been waiting for: "Former president George Bush".

— Jay Leno

While President Bush was out of town Hillary Clinton stopped by the White House on Friday for an important meeting with her…

— Jay Leno

President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed.

— Jay Leno

John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.

— Jay Leno

President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his?

— Jay Leno

One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President…

— Jay Leno