President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama said he plans on training 10,000 new math and science teachers. How about teaching math to that economic team of his? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner played golf this weekend. Obama’s handicap is Joe Biden. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We're fighting three wars now. Imagine how many we'd be fighting if President Obama hadn't won the Nobel Peace Prize. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama was in India yesterday visiting our jobs. Tomorrow he goes to China to visit our money. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Another air traffic controller fell asleep on the job, but he had a good excuse. He was watching President Obama’s deficit speech. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney is predicting that as president, he will create 12 million jobs in his first term. Well, President Obama says a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama released his tax returns. It turns out he made $900,000 less in 2011 then he did in 2010. You know… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday President Obama said, 'We can't continue to treat tax money like monopoly money.' Oh really - how come all those guys… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In a landmark decision, the Supreme Court ruled President Obama's healthcare mandate is constitutional. This is a major victory for President Obama,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama signed a bill preventing members of Congress from profiting from insider trading. Didn't you think that was already illegal? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to USA Today, 74 percent of Americans plan to hand out candy this Halloween. Although President Obama thinks it should be… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama's been reaching out to Iran, reaching out to Cuba, reaching out to Latin America. The only place he can't seem… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Oh, here's your tax dollars at work. This is what makes people furious. The head of the GSA, a woman named Martha… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm trying to sum up President Obama's first 11 months in office. He gave billions to Wall Street, cracked down on illegal… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama announced this week that he is going to start sending out his own messages personally on Twitter. And today Anthony… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama and House Speaker John Boehner have agreed to play a round of golf together. Imagine the two of them at… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Not a good night for President Obama. He lost elections in Virginia, New Jersey, and he's not doing good in Afghanistan either. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama’s approval ratings are so low now, Kenyans are accusing him of being born in the United States. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Casey Anthony was found not guilty. This means that President Obama’s economic team is only the second-most clueless group in America. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The good news is, President Obama was born in America. The bad news is, so was Donald Trump. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump says he’s President Obama’s worst nightmare. That’s not true. Having to make a decision is Obama’s worst nightmare. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A man in Florida has been arrested for wearing a President Obama mask while robbing a McDonald's. To show you how good… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name:… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama wants Congress to increase the minimum wage. Believe me, when it comes to doing the minimum for their wage, Congress… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are always criticizing President Obama for using the teleprompter. Is that a big deal? After eight years of George Bush, I'm… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama is currently on a week-long trip to Africa, where he will promote freedom, democracy, and economic opportunity. I guess he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
One of President Obama's winning points last night was about how sanctions against Iran are crippling their economy. And believe me, if… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If President Obama really wants to hurt the Syrian government, don't send cruise missiles. He should send over some of his economic… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A hiker who was lost in a blizzard said he stayed alive by digging a snow tunnel and burning dollar bills for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
