John kerry Quotes by Jay Leno

The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry. You can understand why - with two positions on…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both…

— Jay Leno

There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this…

— Jay Leno

The latest issue of GQ magazine, John Kerry talks about what a man should look for in a woman. GQ? If John…

— Jay Leno

Political experts are saying the reason John Kerry is doing so well is because he's 'electable.' Hey, so was Al Gore -…

— Jay Leno

Senator John Kerry released his plan today to eliminate the deficit. He said all we have to do is find a really…

— Jay Leno

Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he's questioning Bush's…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry said today that he wants to get rid of tax cuts for the rich and his wife said, 'Hey, shut…

— Jay Leno

The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it…

— Jay Leno

In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan…

— Jay Leno

A new poll says that if the election were held today, both John Kerry and John Edwards would beat President Bush by…

— Jay Leno

The White House begun airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of…

— Jay Leno

President Bush fell off his mountain bike down on his ranch in Texas. A couple weeks ago, John Kerry fell off his…

— Jay Leno

A number of plastic surgeons are claiming that looking at John Kerry now, as opposed to a few months ago, they believe…

— Jay Leno

They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the…

— Jay Leno

In an interview with Rolling Stone, Senator John Kerry, who is running for president, said that when he voted for the war…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the…

— Jay Leno

According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain. So you see, that's why John Kerry had all that Botox…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry went hunting today. He said he killed a goose. He didn't bring Teresa along because he was a little rusty…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry accused President Bush of catering to the rich. You know, as opposed to John Kerry who just marries them.

— Jay Leno

John Kerry and Ralph Nader met face-to-face, it was a historic meeting. Astronomers said today their meeting actually created what is called…

— Jay Leno

In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure,…

— Jay Leno

One critic in the L.A. Times said John Kerry looks like he is thinking too much. Well this is one place President…

— Jay Leno

It really kind of looks like now that John Kerry is on his way to the presidential nomination. The only thing that…

— Jay Leno

Kerry is saying that Bush never showed up for his national guard duty ... and now Bush is on the attack. He's…

— Jay Leno

They say John Kerry is the first Democratic presidential candidate in history to raise $50 million in a three-month period. Actually, that's…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry speaks French fluently. Democrats are saying he's one in a million. A war hero who speaks French, isn't it more…

— Jay Leno

You see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He's at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his…

— Jay Leno

President Bush listed his income as $822,000. You know what John Kerry calls someone who earns $822,000? Not even worth dating.

— Jay Leno

The big winner last night in New Hampshire - Senator John Kerry. He won 39 percent of the vote, which is pretty…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry met with Ralph Nader last week. Both sides of every issue were discussed. And then, Nader spoke.

— Jay Leno

John Kerry has apologized for saying those who do not study hard and do their homework will get stuck in Iraq. Now,…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry said today he wants to debate President Bush once a month. Hey good luck, if Bush couldn't make it to…

— Jay Leno

A Newsweek poll said if the election were held today, John Kerry would beat Bush 49 percent to 46 percent. And today,…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry is recovering nicely after having prostate surgery. But the doctors did tell him it would be several months before he…

— Jay Leno

President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used to be Bill Clinton's…

— Jay Leno

John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a…

— Jay Leno

Have you noticed how the Republicans and Democrats try to copy each other at their conventions. Like at the Democratic convention John…

— Jay Leno