People Quotes by Jay Leno

Regulations force people to do better.

— Jay Leno

Starbuck's is going to start selling instant coffee. This is for people who want the quality of Sanka, but want to pay…

— Jay Leno

One thing about mildly dyslexic people - they're good at setting everything else aside to pursue one goal.

— Jay Leno

Anthony Weiner and his wife, Huma, have given birth to a baby boy. He posted a photo of the new baby on…

— Jay Leno

President Obama wants to raise taxes on the country's richest people. And you thought Donald Trump hated him before.

— Jay Leno

This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white…

— Jay Leno

Things have really changed here in Hollywood. Used to be people in this town couldn't wait to get an envelope full of…

— Jay Leno

There is a penalty for trying to knock down a cockpit door, but it's the people who try to go from coach…

— Jay Leno

Paris Hilton got 45 days in jail. A lot of people were upset about this - they were hoping for the death penalty.

— Jay Leno

For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that…

— Jay Leno

Now this really annoys me: All these people getting on the Internet and saying Nostradamus predicted this. If Nostradamus were alive today…

— Jay Leno

A Democratic congressman said that he worries that the IRS scandal might have a chilling effect on the IRA and that they…

— Jay Leno

The Mars rover Curiosity has sent back images of some odd things on the surface of Mars, and some people think they…

— Jay Leno

“They were going crazy in Kansas. People were up to 9 p.m. I think that was the greatest thing to happen to…

— Jay Leno

Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your…

— Jay Leno

People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and…

— Jay Leno

I love all these politicians, they all say the same thing - 'We'll give California back to the people.' Yeah, great, now…

— Jay Leno

Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya,…

— Jay Leno

Before they went on vacation, Congress voted to exempt themselves from Obamacare. They gave themselves a special exemption because they thought it…

— Jay Leno

The Olympics start on Friday, and Russia is implementing the most intensive security in Olympics history. During the games, the government will…

— Jay Leno

I always tell new people in show business. I say, "Look, show business pays you a lot of money, because eventually you're…

— Jay Leno

In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with…

— Jay Leno

U.N. officials said today they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they're having a hard time getting…

— Jay Leno

In People magazine, Madonna said her life has been exhausting since she started her world tour. She said there isn't a second…

— Jay Leno

This week the White House proposed fingerprinting and photographing foreign visitors so they can do background checks. Officials in Saudi Arabia said…

— Jay Leno

Corporations complained about [safety] regulations, but let's face it, people walk away from accidents now that would have killed them when I…

— Jay Leno

The United States have developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called the stock market.

— Jay Leno

It’s being reported that the economy lost 95,000 jobs in September. And that’s just people leaving the White House.

— Jay Leno

65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women.

— Jay Leno

Over 6 million people were evacuated from New Jersey ahead of the hurricane. And now, three of them have gone back.

— Jay Leno

President Obama told the Irish people that America will always stand by them, to which Israel laughed.

— Jay Leno

Heres something to think about: How come you never see a headline like Psychic Wins Lottery?

— Jay Leno

People don't mind if you have a lot of money if they know you're working for it.

— Jay Leno

These White House scandals are not going away anytime soon. People in Kenya are now saying he's 100 percent American. That's how…

— Jay Leno

Statistics show 50% of the people use the internet. The rest have sex with real people.

— Jay Leno

We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no…

— Jay Leno

A new study found that people who are depressed have a greater risk of stroke. Well that should cheer them up.

— Jay Leno

I feel bad for people who die on Valentine's Day. How much would flowers cost then, ten grand?

— Jay Leno

President Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today Congress announced that they are accepting bribes again.

— Jay Leno

50% of Americas population spends less than 10 dollars a month on romance. You know what we call these people? Men!

— Jay Leno