Republicans are calling the Bush-Cheney ticket the 'Wizard of Oz' ticket. One needs a heart and the other needs a brain. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday in New York City, Donald Trump officially changed his political affiliation from Republican to Independent. And Donald's hair has switched from… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Clinton's pet Labrador, Buddy, is getting neutered. The dog will never have sex again. Overnight, they've turned Buddy from a Democrat into… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It looks like Rudy Giuliani is out of the race. Finally, a Republican with an exit strategy. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Did you know that 10% of all Americans have not had sex in 5 years? I didn't know there were so many Republicans. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry described his Republican critics as 'the most crooked, lying group I've ever seen.' Now, that's saying something, because Kerry's both… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Herman Cain told a group of Occupy Wall Street protesters to go home, get a job, and get a life. That's the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Rumors have restarted that the Republican ticket will not be Bush-Cheney. But today those rumors were put to rest when Cheney said,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, there's a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on Larry King, 'I wish I had bought… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republican presidential hopeful Mike Hucka-BS is attacking actress Natalie Portman for getting pregnant without being married. It could get a little awkward… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A petition to have Justin Bieber deported got over 100,000 signatures, which means the White House now has to legally rule on… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know who Boehner is, right? He's that orange looking guy. See, for Republicans that counts as diversity. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Of course, Republicans still can't believe that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. But then Democrats can't believe that Sarah Palin… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Like in [the 1950s] if you wanted to ruin someone´s career in Hollywood you claimed he was a Communist. Nowadays, you want… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Tonight the Republican presidential candidates had a big debate, 10 candidates. The last time that many rich white guys got together, I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are now saying that Dan Rather should lose his job because he misled the country with bogus information. Which is odd… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Congratulations to President Obama on being reelected president of the United States. Turns out it is not all bad news for the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For the first time the people of Iraq are united. Today on CNN I saw a Kurd, a Shiite and a member… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This is my favorite story of the week. The Republican National Committee is in trouble after spending nearly $2,000 at a bondage… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Have you noticed how the Republicans and Democrats try to copy each other at their conventions. Like at the Democratic convention John… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Last night, John McCain said that under the Democratic health care plan, a bureaucrat would stand between you and your doctor, as… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm trying to sum up President Obama's first 11 months in office. He gave billions to Wall Street, cracked down on illegal… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You know what the reward is to capture Saddam. You don't even need to capture Saddam, just say where he is. It's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to today's Los Angeles Times, Gray Davis now gets negative job ratings from white people, black people, Latinos, Republicans, Independents and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“The Environmental Protection Agency is conducting a seven-hundred-thousand-dollar study to see if Alaskan trees are polluting Oregon forests. You can tell Republicans… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Republicans finally got some good news over the weekend. The North Koreans set off a nuclear bomb. Thank God. It was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra has charged the Bush administration with keeping programs secret from Congress. Somehow no one from Congress reads the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are always criticizing President Obama for using the teleprompter. Is that a big deal? After eight years of George Bush, I'm… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm a staunch Independant. Every time I think I am a Republican, they do something greedy, and every time I think I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now the Republicans can admit that Strom Thurmond has been… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Flinstones wore furs, they ate red meat, and had a stoneage philosophy. In fact, they were the first Republicans. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
![“Like in [the 1950s] if you wanted to ruin someone´s career in Hollywood you claimed he was a Communist. Nowadays, you want to ruin someone´s career in Hollywood, you claim they are Republican.” quote by Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2d1/jay-leno-210_careers_like-in-the-1950s-if-you-wanted-to-ruin_2539882.jpg)
