President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new poll shows that Tiger Woods' popularity has dropped from 85 percent to 33 percent. President Obama's popularity is also at… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
This morning President Obama met with Britain's Prince William in the Oval Office. It was a meeting between a symbolic ruler with… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama said the small drone that flew over the White House fence yesterday could be bought at any RadioShack. After hearing… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama answered questions on YouTube today. He was asked 7,500 times about legalizing marijuana. And that was just from Chad in Portland. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama , I guess, is starting to confess to some of his anxieties. In a recent interview, President Obama said, 'I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new report just came out that says President Obama has mentioned Jesus Christ in more speeches than President Bush did. Can… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Tomorrow night President Obama will announce his new immigration plan. Obama's favorite part of his new immigration plan is that he gets… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama filled out his March Madness bracket. You can tell Obama's mind is elsewhere because his top two picks were Israel… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama says he will not support a healthcare plan where the government gets to decide whether to, quote, 'pull the plug… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can'… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Congress is debating a kill switch that would allow President Obama to freeze all activity on the internet if there was a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A lawyer from Africa wants to marry Malia Obama in exchange for goats, sheep, and cows. In response, President Obama said, 'Don't… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The Senate has sent President Obama a spending bill that gives the government enough money to keep going for two weeks. Our… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama has decided that he wants his presidential library to be in Chicago, not Hawaii. Today Hawaii's governor said, 'Great, who's… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday, President Obama prank-called a Washington radio station, calling himself 'Barry from D.C.' Then, just to mess with him, Obama called Glenn… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
