The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Seriously, the Olympic badminton players were apparently trying to lose on purpose, a big story. But really, think about it, if you… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Some people are saying that the reason Michael Phelps isn't doing so well is because he let himself get too out of… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
If Sony's not going to show 'The Interview,' that's it. No more North Korean movies for me. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Don't be cynical; it leads nowhere. If you work hard, and are kind, amazing things will happen to you. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A group of psychologists say they have discovered twenty-three different body language indicators that show whether or not a person is lying.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Facebook revamped its search feature. Now you can search for any post that has ever appeared on your page. It's helpful if… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The Republican-controlled House voted to repeal the healthcare bill. If that goes well, they'll see what they can do about this whole… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said that if President Obama releases his birth certificate, Trump will release his tax return. Obama said he won't run… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
This is serious, if Martha gets the maximum sentence on all counts, she could serve 20 years in prison. Of course, you… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Bob Dole is going to be appearing in a Pepsi commercial with Britney Spears. Yeah, apparently Dole says that if this doesn't… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Egypt has responded to hundreds of thousands of protesters by shutting down the Internet. Just a word of advice: If you want… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Big night of television tonight for Barack Obama. Earlier tonight, Barack Obama aired a half-hour infomercial to attract more voters. Yeah. Yeah,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It's starting to look like Donald Trump may be a serious presidential candidate. If you're in my line of work, Trump running… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady says he thinks it would be great if Donald Trump was president. Which is really weird because I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Bush delivered a commencement speech at a university in Wisconsin. A very inspirational speech. Apparently Bush told the students, 'You can… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Congress is debating a kill switch that would allow President Obama to freeze all activity on the internet if there was a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC executives say that if Donald Trump does run for president, they will not renew The Apprentice. So some good may come… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Los Angeles residents are going to vote on a tax on anything sold in a medical marijuana dispensary. If the measure passes… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The top 15 contenders for the Republican nomination own at least 40 guns among them. If we elect a Republican president no… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Herman Cain is out there, he says a lot of provocative things. He said America should build its own Great Wall of… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The Romneys have a horse competing in the Olympics. Ann Romney's horse failed to win a medal in the dressage event today,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Governor Chris Christie says if he's president, he will crack down on the sale of marijuana. However, that was before he was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
