Men Quotes by Conan O'Brien

22 Men quotes by Conan O'Brien

Conan O'Brien tackles the topic of men with his trademark humor and sharp eye for absurdity. These 22 quips balance laugh‑out‑loud moments with surprisingly insightful takes on everyday male behavior.

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Breast feeding activists plan to descend on Washington for a public breast feeding demonstration. Also descending on Washington, thousands of men saying,…

Conan O'Brien

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Earlier tonight the second Republican debate took place here in California. With 10 men and only one woman, everyone thought they were…

Conan O'Brien

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Let’s just agree any group of 3 or more handsome British men should be referred to as a 'cumberbatch.'

Conan O'Brien

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According to a new study, most men would like women to occasionally pick up the check. The study also found that most…

Conan O'Brien

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A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the…

Conan O'Brien

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Macy's has severed ties with Donald Trump and no longer will carry his men's wear collection. From now on, men who want…

Conan O'Brien

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The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.

Conan O'Brien

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Geraldo Rivera says Osama bin Laden is hiding out in Pakistan ... which means the most hated man in Afghanistan is now…

Conan O'Brien

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Former President George W. Bush has hired a man to lead his presidential think tank in Dallas. The man was hired because…

Conan O'Brien

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Russia has named Vladimir Putin its man of the year for the 15th year in a row. Putin got 143 million votes…

Conan O'Brien

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Yesterday, voters in the state of Maine voted no to gay marriage, but yes to medical marijuana. That's right, people in Maine…

Conan O'Brien

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Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They disqualified him. The man said getting caught…

Conan O'Brien

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CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy…

Conan O'Brien

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The head of the AFL-CIO endorsed John Kerry, saying, 'The time has come to come behind one man, one leader, one candidate.'…

Conan O'Brien

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Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled…

Conan O'Brien

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A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama…

Conan O'Brien

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In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man…

Conan O'Brien

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Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned…

Conan O'Brien

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In the Year 2000 men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs... is to make out.

Conan O'Brien

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A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on…

Conan O'Brien

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An American judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the…

Conan O'Brien

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Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won Apprentice. Because nothing says 'not racist' like…

Conan O'Brien

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A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect…

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NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To…

Conan O'Brien

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People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment.

Conan O'Brien

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A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE…

Conan O'Brien

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Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how…

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The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on…

Conan O'Brien

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LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they…

Conan O'Brien

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A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other…

Conan O'Brien

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Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,…

Conan O'Brien