A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
According to a new study, most men would like women to occasionally pick up the check. The study also found that most… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump insisted yesterday that he is not racist, because one time an African-American won Apprentice. Because nothing says 'not racist' like… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A bank in Washington was robbed by two men in George W. Bush masks. Luckily, right afterwards two guys in President Obama… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Earlier tonight the second Republican debate took place here in California. With 10 men and only one woman, everyone thought they were… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The head of the AFL-CIO endorsed John Kerry, saying, 'The time has come to come behind one man, one leader, one candidate.'… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Medical marijuana users are now lobbying for the right to carry firearms. Because no one is a better shot than a stoned… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Breast feeding activists plan to descend on Washington for a public breast feeding demonstration. Also descending on Washington, thousands of men saying,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Olympic officials have disqualified a champion race walker after determining that he was doping. They disqualified him. The man said getting caught… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday, voters in the state of Maine voted no to gay marriage, but yes to medical marijuana. That's right, people in Maine… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Geraldo Rivera says Osama bin Laden is hiding out in Pakistan ... which means the most hated man in Afghanistan is now… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Former President George W. Bush has hired a man to lead his presidential think tank in Dallas. The man was hired because… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
An American judo fighter was expelled from the Olympics after testing positive for marijuana. Officials became suspicious when he kept stopping the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In West Virginia yesterday, a man was arrested for stealing several blow-up dolls. Reportedly, police didn't have any trouble catching the man… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Let’s just agree any group of 3 or more handsome British men should be referred to as a 'cumberbatch.' — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Russia has named Vladimir Putin its man of the year for the 15th year in a row. Putin got 143 million votes… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Macy's has severed ties with Donald Trump and no longer will carry his men's wear collection. From now on, men who want… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the Year 2000 men will finally discover that the reason women go to the bathroom in pairs... is to make out. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
