Some people are saying that the reason Michael Phelps isn't doing so well is because he let himself get too out of… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
After hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, 'Tell me who the other nominees are -… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A group of protesters who are very unhappy at the rapid expansion of Starbucks have been repeatedly smashing the windows of a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The hockey lockout of 1994 - 1995 has been settled. They have stopped bickering... and can now get down to some serious bloodshed! — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In Iraq, four American soldiers have been arrested and charged with stealing a million dollars cash. After hearing about it the Fox… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Prince William's pregnant wife, Kate Middleton, is past her due date. Doctors may have to induce labor. To speed up the birth,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the press this week, NBC has been calling me every name in the book. In fact, they think I'm such an… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
North Korean leader Kim Jong Un has been awarded the highest rank in the country's military. The decision was praised by everyone… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Iran may have attacked ISIS. Do you know how long it's been since I have been able to wear my "Go Iran"… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the news, Chinese president Hu Jintao says that now that Barack Obama has been elected, he is looking forward to taking… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
During last night's Republican debate, Mike Huckabee got a big laugh when he said that Congress has been spending money like John… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It has been reported that Rudolph Giuliani has trademarked the name 'Rudolph Giuliani' so other candidates can't use his name in negative… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It's been reported that some of Arnold Schwarzenegger's opponents have been circulating naked pictures of Arnold on the Internet. Yeah, in a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
For the first time ever, a black Republican woman has been elected to Congress. President Obama told her, 'You are all set.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new Republican Congress is taking over. Sen. Ted Cruz has been appointed tooverseeing NASA in Congress. He says he wants NASA… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It was reported today that the machine on board the International Space Station that turns urine into drinking water has been fixed.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has been offered a role in a sequel to 'The Terminator.' In this one he travels back in time and… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
After making insulting remarks about Mexicans, Donald Trump has been kicked off of NBC and Univision. On the bright side, Trump's hair… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today, former President Bill Clinton met with North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il and convinced him to release two American journalists that have… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
