Has beens Quote by Conan O'Brien

“After hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, 'Tell me who the other nominees are - and I will eliminate them.'”

Conan O'Brien

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A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect…

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NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To…

Conan O'Brien

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People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment.

Conan O'Brien

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A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE…

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Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how…

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The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on…

Conan O'Brien

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LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they…

Conan O'Brien

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A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other…

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Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,…

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President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to…

Conan O'Brien

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The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts.

Conan O'Brien

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“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.”

Conan O'Brien

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Whatever meaning 'Annie's Song' had for me on a personal level, there was also a larger context. It could just as easily have been…

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In the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another day just like today, and there…

Frederick Buechner

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The image of blacks usually is one of people who are suffering from hunger, unemployment, and poverty. The idea of them as agents and…

Grace Lee Boggs

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Mankind have been slow to believe that order reigns in the universe-that the world is a cosmos and a chaos.

James A. Garfield

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We find few historians who have been diligent enough in their search for truth; it is their common method to take on trust what…

John Dryden

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Gambling has held human beings in thrall for millennia. It has been engaged in everywhere, from the dregs of society to the most respectable…

Peter L. Bernstein

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And I have been very blessed, having coached some of the greatest that have ever played the game. But if I had to start…

Red Auerbach

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My folks tried to make a preacher of me and missed by a narrow margin… I would have made a good one if I…

Robert A. Heinlein

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Here's the reality. The image of a white Jesus has been used to justify enslavement, conquest, colonialism, the genocide of indigenous peoples. There are…

Tim Wise