Lasts Quotes by Conan O'Brien

23 Lasts quotes by Conan O'Brien

Looking for laughter that still hits home? Conan O'Brien’s set of 23 quips about lasting moments mixes his signature sarcasm with surprisingly sincere insight, giving you a chuckle and a reminder of what truly sticks.

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Spread your hate. It'll last a lifetime.

Conan O'Brien

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Today Facebook went public, just as Myspace's last user went private.

Conan O'Brien

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Despite the Brian Williams lying scandal, NBC News led in the ratings last week. Although I should note the figures were reported…

Conan O'Brien

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Marijuana plants were found near bin Laden's compound, which explains why bin Laden's last words were, 'Dude... '

Conan O'Brien

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Donald Trump is the grandson of German immigrants. Don't worry. The last time a German guy with crazy hair took over a…

Conan O'Brien

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A new report says that last year Colorado collected $44 million in marijuana taxes. Unfortunately, they can't remember where they put it.

Conan O'Brien

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The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA has let through pipe bombs, knives, and the last three Nicolas…

Conan O'Brien

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The Northeast is being hit with a major snowstorm. Forecasters said they've haven't seen a whiteout like this since last week's Oscar…

Conan O'Brien

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All the major networks declared Barack Obama the winner at 11 last night, except for MSNBC, which declared Obama the winner six…

Conan O'Brien

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During last night's Republican debate, Mike Huckabee got a big laugh when he said that Congress has been spending money like John…

Conan O'Brien

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Facebook revamped its search feature. Now you can search for any post that has ever appeared on your page. It's helpful if…

Conan O'Brien

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Arnold Schwarzenegger is in trouble after tapes surfaced of him saying negative things about other Republicans. Actually the Schwarzenegger tapes surfaced last…

Conan O'Brien

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At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in…

Conan O'Brien

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During last night's debate, John Kerry and John Edwards were so friendly to each other some political experts think that they may…

Conan O'Brien

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People are questioning if Ted Cruz can legally run for president because he was born in Canada. And the last thing we…

Conan O'Brien

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Jeb Bush is getting his presidential campaign in gear. Last week he said he supports a path to citizenship for immigrants. He…

Conan O'Brien

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California officials want to contain a measles outbreak that originated in Disneyland last month. They are in luck because everyone who is…

Conan O'Brien

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There is some good news for John McCain. According to the latest polls, which came out today, John McCain has started to…

Conan O'Brien

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In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last…

Conan O'Brien

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Trump said that he hoped bin Laden suffered a lot. It looks like he got his wish, because the CIA said bin…

Conan O'Brien

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Last night's vice presidential debate between Joe Biden and Sarah Palin drew much higher ratings than the presidential debate. Did you know…

Conan O'Brien

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The New York Times reports that Moammar Gadhafi spent his last days hovering between defiance and delusion, surviving on rice and pasta.…

Conan O'Brien

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The big story is Bruce Jenner. In last week's interview, Jenner said he's a woman who is transitioning his body from male…

Conan O'Brien

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A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect…

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NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To…

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People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment.

Conan O'Brien

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A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE…

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Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how…

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The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on…

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LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they…

Conan O'Brien

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A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other…

Conan O'Brien

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Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,…

Conan O'Brien