States Quotes by Conan O'Brien

21 States quotes by Conan O'Brien

Conan’s 21 quotes offer a humor‑infused perspective on the absurdities of statecraft. Expect clever wordplay and a light‑hearted critique that makes the serious feel surprisingly approachable.

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Egypt is in the second day of angry street protests. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton is calling for calm. Because nothing calms…

Conan O'Brien

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Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result,…

Conan O'Brien

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At the State of the Union address last night, President Obama made history by using the words transgender, lesbian, and bisexual in…

Conan O'Brien

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The results of a new study are out this week saying that New Jersey is one of the most livable states in…

Conan O'Brien

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Pope Francis announced that next year he is coming to the United States, or as Fox News is reporting it, 'Obama lets…

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Rev. Pat Robertson says that if more states legalize gay marriage, God will destroy America. He did say that afterwards, gays will…

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Donald Trump announced today he is running for president of the United States. Traditionally that means six more weeks of comedy.

Conan O'Brien

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By the power invested in me by the state of New York and the Universal Life Church, I now pronounce you husband…

Conan O'Brien

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President Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd…

Conan O'Brien

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Hillary Clinton has reportedly accepted Barack Obama's offer to become secretary of state. That's what they're saying in the New York Times.…

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Yesterday, voters in the state of Maine voted no to gay marriage, but yes to medical marijuana. That's right, people in Maine…

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The three auto companies in the United States, they're all scrambling to come up with a plan, some way to reinvent themselves.…

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Donald Trump called George W. Bush 'the worst president in the history of the United States.' Then he added, 'Until, of course,…

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In a new interview, Secretary of State Colin Powell repeated that the U.S. has no plans to attack Syria or Iran. After…

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Today Secretary of State John Kerry visited the small African nation of Djibouti. Or to use the official diplomatic term, he made…

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Kim Kardashian tweeted that she is supporting President Obama in the midterm elections. I think it worked because all of the polls…

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Yesterday, Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he would run for governor of California. The announcement was good news for Florida residents who now live…

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President Obama has pledged $3 billion to aid poor nations. All of that $3 billion is going to the United States.

Conan O'Brien

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According to a new survey, 40 percent of adults in Mexico say they would move to the United States if they got…

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At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion…

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On Election Day, Ralph Nader will appear on the presidential ballot in only 45 states. Yeah, Nader said, this is really disappointing,…

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A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect…

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NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To…

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People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment.

Conan O'Brien

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A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE…

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Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how…

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The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on…

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LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they…

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A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other…

Conan O'Brien

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Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,…

Conan O'Brien