Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
While visiting Kenya, former President Clinton was offered 40 goats and 20 cows for his daughter, Chelsea, by a love struck government… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush's campaign is now attacking John Kerry for throwing away some of his medals to protest the Vietnam War. Bush did… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House has now released military documents that they say prove George Bush met his requirements for the National Guard. Big… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush demanded that Kerry apologize. Can you imagine that -- Bush demanding an apology for someone stumbling over his words? ...… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In his big victory speech last night, Senator Kerry said that he wanted to defeat George Bush and the 'economy of privilege.'… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry suspended his campaign for five days this week in honor of President Reagan. And right now, he's ahead in the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, it looks like John Boehner will be the new Speaker of the House. He is the son of a bartender, one… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Nancy Pelosi said that when it comes to cleaning up government, the Democrats have drained the swamp. The only problem with that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney is predicting that as president, he will create 12 million jobs in his first term. Well, President Obama says a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
And Ralph Nader, God bless him, still out there campaigning. Ralph Nader said today he has set a record for the most… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There was also talk of bringing Al Gore to California to help out, but there was concern that Gray Davis and Al… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Kerry is saying that Bush never showed up for his national guard duty ... and now Bush is on the attack. He's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama had lunch with Republican leaders at the White House today and had to do without salt, pepper and butter. Not… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The longest-serving Republican Senator, Alaska's Ted Stevens, found guilty just a few hours ago on all charges in his corruption trial. Do… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney has a new fundraising gimmick. If you donate $3 or more to his campaign, your name will be entered into… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because shes strong and successful. Men admire… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Everyone is so concerned now where all of the candidates are born. McCain was born on a military base in Panama. Hillary… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The other night, President Bush's press conference was pre-empted by 'American Idol.' You know the difference between President Bush and 'American Idol?'… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, President-elect Barack Obama and his family are gonna spend the holidays in his home state of Hawaii. And you know who… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Of course with John McCain out of the race, George W. Bush has to pick a running mate. Which is kind of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House begun airing their TV commercials to re-elect the president, and the John Kerry campaign is condemning his use of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, several times, McCain talked about serving his country in Vietnam, which is a nice change after 16 years and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush is taking the entire month of August off. Bush said today he thinks it is important for a president to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A new poll shows only 3 percent strongly approve of the job Congress is doing, with a margin of error of 4… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush fell off his mountain bike down on his ranch in Texas. A couple weeks ago, John Kerry fell off his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A number of plastic surgeons are claiming that looking at John Kerry now, as opposed to a few months ago, they believe… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Democratic Leadership Council has named Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton to design a plan to help define an agenda to the Democratic… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama is coming under criticism now for not meeting with his jobs council. He hasn't met with his jobs council in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It is day two of the Democratic convention, and apparently they had a huge lighting problem in the convention hall today. They… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The latest issue of GQ magazine, John Kerry talks about what a man should look for in a woman. GQ? If John… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush stopped off at a bass pro fishing store to pick up a fishing reel, some line and some rubber worms.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In a new issue of Esquire magazine, they revealed that before he was married to Teresa Heinz, Senator John Kerry dated Morgan… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Democrats are all over this. Democratic strategists feel John Kerry's war record means he can beat Bush. They say when it… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama said in an interview over the weekend that he really misses being anonymous. He said, 'I miss Saturday mornings rolling… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Rick Perry was philosophical about (his election losses). He said, 'Last week was Iowa. Yesterday was New Hampshire. ' He said at… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
