The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Howard Dean announced today he will campaign in seven states. The states are Rage, Frenzy, Fury, Rath, Fever, Agitation, and Delirium. Yeeeeaaaah! — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Political experts are saying the reason John Kerry is doing so well is because he's 'electable.' Hey, so was Al Gore -… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush has urged people to get back to normal and today Congress announced that they are accepting bribes again. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Elections in L.A. are so different. Here you've got politicians with phony smiles making false promises to voters with fake boobs and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry has apologized for saying those who do not study hard and do their homework will get stuck in Iraq. Now,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry says that he wants to debate President Bush once a month until the election. This could be a risky move… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In an interview with Univision, President Obama said if there's one thing he's learned, it's that you can't change Washington from within.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Presidential Democratic front-runner Howard Dean admitted to Chris Matthews on the 'Hardball' show that he got out of the draft because of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in 2008. You know why I think she's running? I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Kerry is well on his way to reaching his magic number of 2,162. That's the total number of delegates he needs to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to New York publishers, Bill Clinton will get more money for his book than Hillary Clinton got for hers. Well, duh.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Real movement in the Kerry campaign now. His poll numbers are moving, donations are moving, endorsements are moving. The only thing not… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
How about this John Edwards thing? Imagine that, a personal injury attorney who turns out to be a sleaze ball. Who could… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Yesterday Gary Condit spent the whole day attending an agricultural meeting. Boy, that's when you know a congressman's in real trouble: when… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Chris Christie won by such a wide margin that pundits say this will give him the impetus he needs to run for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama admitted this week that a former girlfriend that he wrote about in his autobiography was made up and not a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown office rent - over $500,000 a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Chris Christie has officially endorsed Mitt Romney for president. Christie said President Obama is 'shrinking the American pie.' And believe me, if… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, John McCain is an older, white-haired man who has been in the Senate for over twenty years, voted for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush got a little upset with a reporter for calling him 'sir' instead of 'Mr. President.' Man, how upset is he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Have you noticed how the Republicans and Democrats try to copy each other at their conventions. Like at the Democratic convention John… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry now getting slammed by the Republicans because of a botched joke he did about President Bush and Iraq in a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used to be Bill Clinton's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you all know by now, Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a new book out about Hillary Clinton that claims Bill is still having affairs but Hillary continues to look the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry has promised to take this country back from the wealthy. Who better than the guy worth $700 million to take… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry came down pretty hard on fellow candidate Howard Dean this weekend. After Dean misspoke several times, Kerry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Is it me or is Bush going everywhere Kerry goes? So far in the past week, President Bush has followed John Kerry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House has finally found one guy that kinda remembers serving with President Bush in the National Guard. Now they just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You see the pictures in the paper today of John Kerry windsurfing? He's at his home in Nantucket this week, doing his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia University, which is ironic isn't it? The… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you may have heard, former President Bill Clinton says he's coming here to California to help Governor Gray Davis in his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President-elect Barack Obama is starting to get an idea of just how hard his new job is going to be. Today, he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
