Iraq Quotes by David Letterman

One day you're the leader of Iraq, the next day you're being checked for fleas on Fox News.

— David Letterman

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours.

— David Letterman

Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.

— David Letterman

President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He…

— David Letterman

The general election's taking place today in Iraq, so I guess that means we're one step closer to being there for another…

— David Letterman

President Bush announced that the war in Iraq has been won. It's all over, it's been won. I believe this would be…

— David Letterman

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news…

— David Letterman

President Obama is sending troops back to Iraq. He said, 'Don't worry, we should not be there any longer than a Kardashian…

— David Letterman

Let's see what's going on over in Iraq. A Burger King has opened up and prostitutes are back on the street of…

— David Letterman

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence.…

— David Letterman

President Obama is sending a couple hundred troops to Iraq. We spent six years trying to figure a way to get out…

— David Letterman

It was a tough press conference for President Bush. He spent the first ten minutes trying to pronounce Fallujah. ... Bush insisted…

— David Letterman

Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war…

— David Letterman

President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the…

— David Letterman

And now the really difficult part: We have to rebuild Iraq into a strong and independent nation that will one day hate…

— David Letterman

Iraq is so bad that President Obama phoned Hillary Clinton and asked her if she could start early.

— David Letterman