Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I finally accepted Jesus. not as my personal savior, but as a man I intend to borrow money from. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticide grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Religion has convinced people that theres an invisible man ¦ Living in the sky. Who watches everything you do every minute of… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don`t understand a belief that there is an invisible being in the sky who watches over us all the time and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
So I want to thank the Pentagon, the Soviet Union and the military-industrial complex from the bottom of my heart. Without them,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
This country was founded by a group of slave owners who told us that all men are created equal. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The wisest man I ever knew taught me something I never forgot. And although I never forgot it, I never quite memorized… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The god excuse, the last refuge of a man with no answers and no argument. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I look at it this way... For centuries now, man has done everything he can to destroy, defile, and interfere with nature:… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I grew up in New York wanting to be like those funny men in the movies and on the radio. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When it comes to bullshit, you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims: religion...… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Anger is a handy term and words are tricky, as we know. What one man perceives as anger, another person - in… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Someone said, and rightfully, that "property is theft'." There's no way a man can stand and tell me that he owns an… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was never a pipe or bong man. That's California stuff. I was an Eastern roller. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I don't have any beliefs or allegiances. I don't believe in this country, I don't believe in religion, or a god, and… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The two big mistakes were the belief in a sky god - that there's a man in the sky with 10 things… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I had no shoes, and I felt sorry for myself until I met a man who had no feet. I took his… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It's legal for men to be floorwalkers and illegal for women to be streetwalkers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
All Christian religions are outer-directed. "Who can I convert?" "Let's go to this country and make them Christians." "Wear this." "Do that."… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I think religion is very anti-man. I think it's a terrible distortion and exploitation of a very natural urge every human has… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
When he got loaded, the human cannonball knew there were not many men of his caliber. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. Tell them what you've painted is wet, they… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class young men off to die. It always… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There are battered husbands. Apparently this happens when the woman is real big, the man is very small, and they each drink… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Meanwhile, followers of Eastern religions are sitting in the middle of their minds, experiencing a bliss and a level of consciousness that… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I am not a difficult man by any stretch, and I'm saying that with a full and honest inventory going on. I'm… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
There's this man who lives in the sky, and he has ten things he doesn't want you to do, and you'll burn… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I never go anywhere or do anything that transports me outside the boundaries of my mind. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Comedy, although it is not one of the fine arts - it's a vulgar art, it's one of the people's arts, it's the spoken… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. ... These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY. Not true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
I was a loner as a child. I had an imaginary friend - I didn't bother with him. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. — George Carlin Copy Share Image
“If you guys want to get a MOM tattoo and save a little money, just get two letters done. Get about a one-inch capital… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday! — George Carlin Copy Share Image
It ended suddenly for Brenda, more slowly for me. My runs began getting shorter and less pleasurable. I'd feel bad after only one day,… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
The whole idea of the pursuit of goods and possessions has completely corrupted the human experience, along with religion, which I think limits the… — George Carlin Copy Share Image
