Bill Hicks

To me pornography is...spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.

— Bill Hicks

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck.

— Bill Hicks

....All drugs should be legal. War is wrong. The rich get richer. The poor get poorer. Thank you. I'll be here all…

— Bill Hicks

We killed 6 innocent people, launching 22, I think $3 million apiece missiles on Baghdad...that's a little bit overdoing it.

— Bill Hicks

I don't identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.

— Bill Hicks

Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn’t the idea of making nature against the law seem…

— Bill Hicks

Dinosaur fossils were placed in rocks by prankster God just to make human beings think the world is older than it is.

— Bill Hicks

I believe that the Bible is the literal word of God. And I say no, it's not, Dad. Well, I believe that…

— Bill Hicks

It's hard to have a relationship in this business...it's gonna take a very special woman...or a bunch of average ones.

— Bill Hicks

I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York...Is that the Big One I hear in the background?…

— Bill Hicks

I got this big fear of doing smoking jokes in my act and showing up five years from now goin' [puts mic…

— Bill Hicks

“The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real…

— Bill Hicks

I'm gonna share with you a vision that I had, cause I love you. And you feel it. You know all that…

— Bill Hicks

Nazis are for the New Age concern.

— Bill Hicks

People often ask me where I stand politically. It's not that I disagree with Bush's economic policy or his foreign policy, it's…

— Bill Hicks

I don't care if you're obscene, filthy, horrendous -- as long as you're honest.

— Bill Hicks

Okay, I got one word to ask you, a one word question, ready?

— Bill Hicks

It's not that I disagreed with Bush's economic policy... I believed he was a child of Satan here to destroy the planet...

— Bill Hicks

“Wouldn't you like to see a positive LSD story on the news? To base your decision on information rather than scare tactics…

— Bill Hicks

How come people always flip and think they're Jesus? Why not Buddha? Particularly in America, where more people resemble Buddha than Jesus.…

— Bill Hicks

The waitress comes over to me like, 'What'chu readin' for?' I had never been asked that. Not 'What am I reading?' but…

— Bill Hicks

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass.

— Bill Hicks

What are you reading for?

— Bill Hicks

It's really weird how your life changes. Tonight I'm drinking water. Four years ago? Opium. Night and day, you know?

— Bill Hicks

I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action…

— Bill Hicks