A hermit is simply a person to whom civilization has failed to adjust itself. — Will Cuppy Alienation Copy Share Image
An Ant on a hot stove-lid runs faster than an Ant on a cold one. Who wouldn't? — Will Cuppy Ants Copy Share Image
I am billed as a humorist, but of course I am a tragedian at heart. — Will Cuppy Comedy Copy Share Image
Armadillos make affectionate pets, if you need affection that much. — Will Cuppy Adorable Copy Share Image
Borrowing has a bad name, but you would be surprised how it helps in a pinch. — Will Cuppy Borrowing Copy Share Image
The hippopotamus looks monogamous- he looks as if he would have to be. — Will Cuppy Animal Copy Share Image
“Etiquette, or dog in the original Coptic, means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential.” — Will Cuppy Behaving Copy Share Image
It is because of his brain that [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above. — Will Cuppy Animal Copy Share Image
“Intelligence is the capacity to know what we are doing and instinct is just instinct. The results are about the same.” — Will Cuppy Animals Copy Share Image
Young normal tigers do not eat people. If eaten by a tiger you may rest assured he was abnormal. — Will Cuppy Abnormal Copy Share Image
Pliny the Elder perished in 79 A.D. when he refused to flee from the great eruption of Mt. Vesuvius, insisting that everything… — Will Cuppy Elders Copy Share Image
“The average sparrow is something of a bore and the trouble is that all sparrows are average.” — Will Cuppy Bird Copy Share Image
I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my age and weight in… — Will Cuppy Age Copy Share Image
All Modern Men are descended from a Wormlike creature but it shows more on some people. — Will Cuppy Creatures Copy Share Image
[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist… — Will Cuppy Footnotes Copy Share Image
The Zebra is striped all over so that the Lion can see him and eat him. Some people say he is striped… — Will Cuppy Bars Copy Share Image
During his fifteen years in Italy, Hannibal never had enough elephants to suit him. Most of the original group succumbed to the… — Will Cuppy Animal Copy Share Image
Galvani was mistaken about the amount of electricity in frogs, but he had some good ideas, too, for the galvanometer is named… — Will Cuppy Amount Copy Share Image
[Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard… — Will Cuppy Beaver Copy Share Image
Even as a child back in Indiana, whenever I took a Butterbelly off the hook I used to ask myself, "Does this… — Will Cuppy Age Copy Share Image
[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively… — Will Cuppy Active Copy Share Image
If you annoy the Hog-nosed Snake enough, he will roll over on his back and play dead. If you turn him right-side… — Will Cuppy Annoying Copy Share Image
[Footnote:] Pliny the Elder described a Whale called "Balaena or Whirlpool, which is so long and broad as to take up more… — Will Cuppy Acres Copy Share Image
I'm a poetry-skipper myself. I don't like to boast, but I have probably skipped more poetry than any other person of my… — Will Cuppy Age Copy Share Image
“Hatshepsut has been called the first great woman of history. She simply appointed herself King of Egypt and that was all there… — Will Cuppy History Copy Share Image
Other countries may boast of this and that, but nobody can touch the United States for poisonous snakes. We have about twenty… — Will Cuppy America Copy Share Image
As Darwin puts it in The Descent of Man, 'Male snakes, though appearing so sluggish, are amorous.' Isn't that just like Darwin?… — Will Cuppy Amorous Copy Share Image
We have no Common Vipers in the United States, but we have worse. — Will Cuppy America Copy Share Image
Etiquette means behaving yourself a little better than is absolutely essential. — Will Cuppy Behaving Copy Share Image
“You can't do much for the poor, as they are not in with the right people.” — Will Cuppy Humor Copy Share Image
My philosophy of life can be summed up in four words: It can't be helped. — Will Cuppy Four Copy Share Image
“There are 2,500 kinds of sponges, all of them consist largely of holes.” — Will Cuppy Animals Copy Share Image
“Pike spawn in February, March, and April because they cannot wait until May.” — Will Cuppy Fish Copy Share Image
Orangutans teach us that looks are not everything-but warned near it. — Will Cuppy Animal Copy Share Image
Humor springs from rage, hay fever, overdue rent and miscellaneous hell. — Will Cuppy Anger Copy Share Image
![“It is because of his brain that [modern man] has risen above the animals. Guess which animals he has risen above.” quote by Will Cuppy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/76a/will-cuppy-7569_animal_it-is-because-of-his-brain-that-modern-m_394660.jpg)
![“[Footnote:] The Dotterel weighs only four ounces. It has long been a scientific riddle how so much wrong-headedness can manage to exist in so small a space. Still, there's the Least Gnatcatcher.” quote by Will Cuppy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/f2b/will-cuppy-7569_footnotes_footnote-the-dotterel-weighs-only-four-o_1659591.jpg)
![“[Footnote:] To give the Beaver his due, he does things because he has to do them, not because he believes that hard work per se will somehow make him a better Beaver -- the Beaver may be dumb, but he is not that dumb! The Beaver was made to gnaw, and gnaw he does. There you have him in a nutshell.” quote by Will Cuppy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/698/will-cuppy-7569_beavers_footnote-to-give-the-beaver-his-due-he-d_941758.jpg)
![“[Footnote:] The female of any species is generally regarded as a relatively anabolic organism, more passive than the male, who is relatively katabolic and active. The fact remains that one frequently runs across a rather katabolic female.” quote by Will Cuppy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/b43/will-cuppy-7569_active_footnote-the-female-of-any-species-is-ge_381362.jpg)
![“[Footnote:] Pliny the Elder described a Whale called "Balaena or Whirlpool, which is so long and broad as to take up more in length and breadth than two acres of ground." This brings up again the old question: Are the classics doomed? Our ancestors believed that four years of this sort of…” quote by Will Cuppy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/1c1/will-cuppy-7569_acres_footnote-pliny-the-elder-described-a-wha_84284.jpg)
