Success in life has nothing to do with what you gain in life or accomplish for yourself. It's what you do for… — Danny Thomas Copy Share Image
By his provocations to good-natured merriment, a humorist of the first water contributes as much to the sum of happiness as the… — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
“To call such persons "humorists", a loose-fitting and ugly word, is to miss the nature of their dilemma and the dilemma of… — James Thurber Copy Share Image
Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us.… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The humorist who invented trial by jury played a colossal practical joke upon the world, but since we have the system we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The key, I would say to any fledgling humorist starting out, is to make sure that sloppiness is part of your recipe.… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
I don't want to be classed as a humorist. It makes me feel guilty. I've never read a good tough quotable female… — Dorothy Parker Copy Share Image
I don't think I was awake for much of my childhood. I did a lot of napping. This might have been a… — Michael Ian Black Copy Share Image
I remember what J. Golden Kimball said when he came down to the stake where I was presiding. I introduced him as… — Hugh B. Brown Copy Share Image
God is a great humorist. He just has a slow audience to work with. — Garrison Keillor Copy Share Image
But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I find a duck's opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
There are very few humorists who have written first-rate humor after they've become elderly. — Richard Armour Copy Share Image
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.' — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself. — James Thurber Copy Share Image
Nothing seems too high or low for the humorist; he is above honor, above faith, preserving sense in religion and sanity in… — Sean O'Casey Copy Share Image
I consider myself always a humorist. And I think anybody who tells jokes or makes people laugh is humor. — Dick Gregory Copy Share Image
Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain't never been nowhere and you ain't seen… — Irvin S. Cobb Copy Share Image
Humorists are always pessimists. They're reactionaries: because they see that every golden cloud has a black lining. — Christina Stead Copy Share Image
It was a strange man, a kind of black humorist, a true philosopher. One day he said: "If my books could ensure… — William C. Brown Copy Share Image
Professional humorists and cartoonists have to go through a stage in which they have to kill their own internal editor just so… — Robert Mankoff Copy Share Image
Humorists are not humorous twenty-four hours a day. In fact, when you get to know them well, they are often not humorous… — Margaret Halsey Copy Share Image
Steven Alan Green is ONE funny writer ---- Everything I read of yours makes me laugh and think - Not just the… — Taylor Negron Copy Share Image
I did not intend to write a funny book, at first. I did not know I was a humorist. I have never… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
You are not angry with people when you laugh at them. Humour teaches tolerance, and the humorist, with a smile and perhaps… — W. Somerset Maugham Copy Share Image
Six Secrets to Being a Successful Humorist 1. Be scared, unhappy, and an outcast as a kid. 2. Drop out of high… — Bruce McCall Copy Share Image
Few, as I have said, are the humorists who can induce this state. To master and dissolve us, to give us the… — Max Beerbohm Copy Share Image
Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
I'm a humorist. A guy like Paul Simon just makes my life so much simpler. When I was there, he had a… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
ZANY, n. A popular character in old Italian plays, who imitated with ludicrous incompetence the _buffone_, or clown, and was therefore the… — Ambrose Bierce Copy Share Image
Except by name, Jean Paul Friedrich Richter is little known out of Germany. The only thing connected with him, we think, that… — Thomas Carlyle Copy Share Image
Once I talked to the inmates of an insane asylum in Hartford. I have talked to idiots a thousand times, but only… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
