Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water,… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The way this country deals with drugs is just not funny. What a waste of everyone's time and effort. What a waste… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Your digestive system is your body's Fun House, whereby food goes on a long, dark, scary ride, taking all kinds of unexpected… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Men have no cause to criticize women about the way they are about weddings. Because men are like that about sports, but… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I guess nobody assumes anybody is a libertarian. It's a more complex political discussion than most people are used to, to explain… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
With a novel, you have to have a story. It's much more important to have it matter to the reader what happens… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Lobsters displays all three of the classic biological characteristics of an insect, namely: 1. It has way more legs than necessary. 2.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't get me wrong. I like Disney World. The rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery, and the employees say things like… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I really need to know where I'm going with fiction to write it in a way that at least I'm happy with.… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
...and suddenly it hits you: Human skin is actually made up of billions of tiny units of protoplasm, called "cells"! And what… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
