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Baby Quote by Dave Barry

“You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.” quote by Dave Barry — Download Open image

“You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.”

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More by Dave Barry

This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat…

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This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes…

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The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That we live in a world were women actually expect you to think thoughtful thoughts, and have real emotions, which we don't have. Having to try to live up to the imaginary ideal that women have of…

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

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Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.

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Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary…

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He was distracted by a giggle, and turned to see a rare sight: a girl.

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The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice.

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If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things…

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Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you…

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“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people…

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Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money.

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Explore all 867 Dave Barry quotes

More Baby quotes

I would have done well as a gypsy child, I think. A circus baby. I coulda played a great street urchin or ragamuffin. Or…

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I've retired my sneakers for stilettos, baby!

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I didn't expect to be so comfortable handing my child off to a nanny without getting any of her information. As soon as she…

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Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. Parents who have little support--from friends, relatives, neighbors, or the community--are more likely to be overburdened by the demands of their babies and to be unable to respond to them adequately. Parents who experience severe poverty or economic insecurity, who cannot satisfy their own basic…

Sheila Kamerman

Shhh.” He put a finger to her lips. “Hear me out. I cannot deny that I would've liked to have made babies with you. A little girl with your hair and eyes would've been the delight of my life. But it is you that I want primarily, not mythical children. I can survive the loss of something I've never had.…

Baby, I love you. We argue about the stupidest shit then we turn around and laugh about it. I'm obsessed with you and you're obsessed with me. All them girls you may end up with may THINK you're theirs but naahh you're mine. Always will be. Forget you? Baby how could you ever think I'd forget you? Shit I love…

My dad's Israeli. He was born in Baghdad to Iraqi Jews. Then, at age two, his parents wanted to move to their homeland and…

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Michael Jackson has a new baby boy; no word yet who the father is.

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I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

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If all fooles had babies, wee should want fuell.

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Getting a burp out of your little thing when she needs it is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across at this point in…

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A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE…

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