Baby Quotes by Chelsea Handler

10 Baby quotes by Chelsea Handler

Chelsea Handler’s take on infants mixes snark and sweetness. In these ten brief lines you’ll feel her candid voice, ideal for anyone looking for a light‑hearted, modern spin on baby talk.

Rate this collection: ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet

Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby?

Chelsea Handler

Image

Having a baby, it's like a five year commitment.

Chelsea Handler

Image

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to…

Chelsea Handler

Image

Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant…

Chelsea Handler

Image

Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for…

Chelsea Handler

Image

Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure.

Chelsea Handler

Image

For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen.…

Chelsea Handler

Image

I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby…

Chelsea Handler

Image

I don't like people who have babies and act like they did something that the rest of us can't figure out. Anybody…

Chelsea Handler

Image

Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them…

Chelsea Handler

Image

Other authors on Baby

More by Chelsea Handler

I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.

Chelsea Handler

Image

I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run…

Chelsea Handler

Image

At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and…

Chelsea Handler

Image

A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the…

Chelsea Handler

Image

It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is…

Chelsea Handler

Image

“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity…

Chelsea Handler

Image

I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have…

Chelsea Handler

Image

Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed…

Chelsea Handler

Image

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Chelsea Handler

Image

I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just…

Chelsea Handler

Image

“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.”

Chelsea Handler

Image

Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn…

Chelsea Handler

Image

My negotiation skills are are on par with George Bush's reading ability. And just like Dubya, every time I've tried to put forth an…

Chelsea Handler

Image

I will probably have sex with Eminem after the show is over. Probably, I dont see why I wouldnt. Im fair game, its not…

Chelsea Handler

Image

“I've found that many of the people who have a passion for karaoke too often have misplaced confidence, which can become aggressive and border…

Chelsea Handler

Image