No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen.… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Paris Hilton is one of the hosts for Nicole Richie’s baby shower, and they’re serving sushi. Awesome, Paris—sushi, the one thing pregnant… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Instead of having a baby, why dont you get a tattoo of a baby first, and see how that works out for… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Hispanics still have the highest rate amongst teens with babies so at least the future housekeeping is secure. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like people who have babies and act like they did something that the rest of us can't figure out. Anybody… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Next to fat babies, midgets are my favorite things to hold. I love them so much, and I want to help them… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Or people who have one baby and go buy a minivan... how big is your baby? — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I think the people I talk about are generally so stupid that they don't even know I'm saying bad things about them. I've run… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
At some point during almost every romantic comedy, the female lead suddenly trips and falls, stumbling helplessly over something ridiculous like a leaf, and… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
A federal grand jury is investigating allegations that David Copperfield raped, assaulted and threatened a woman he took to his private island in the… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
It's been my experience that people who make proclamations about themselves are usually the opposite of what they claim to be. If someone is… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“My mother agreed to aid my abuse of alcohol but only if I promised never to tell my newly converted Mormon sister, whose identity… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Seeing your mother naked is not something you easily recover from. Seeing your mother naked and jumping from one side of a king-sized bed… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker. — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
I can remember my first one-night stand like it was yesterday. Well, maybe not the first. Or the second¦ or the fifth. Ill just… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
“It was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.” — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
Why he would agree to install an eight-by-eight-foot fish tank and then not fill it with a single dolphin made me want to burn… — Chelsea Handler Copy Share Image
