Damn these human beings; if I had invented them I would go hide my head in a bag. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am not interested to know whether vivisection produces results that are profitable to the human race or doesn't...The pain which it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Human pride is not worthwhile; there is always something lying in wait to take the wind out of it. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is not a single celebrated Southern name in any of the departments of human industry except those of war, assassination, lynching,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no God, no universe, no human race, no earthly life, no heaven, no hell. It is all a dream, a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Tom said to himself that it was not such a hollow world, after all. He had discovered a great law of human… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You may call a jay a bird. Well, so he is, in a measure--because he's got feathers on him, and don't belong… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The happy phrasing of a compliment is one of the rarest of human gifts, and the happy delivery of it another. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We are called the nation of inventors. And we are. We could still claim that title and wear its loftiest honors if… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
As to the human race. There are many pretty and winning things about the human race. It is perhaps the poorest of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The symbol of the race ought to be a human being carrying an ax, for every human being has one concealed about… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The human being places sexual intercourse above all other joys, but leaves it out of his heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is human life. We are blown upon the world; we float buoyantly upon the summer air a little while, complacently showing… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Human nature is the same everywhere; it deifies success, it has nothing but scorn for defeat. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What do you think of the human mind? I mean, in case you think there is a human mind. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To be human is to have one's little modicum of romance secreted away in one's composition. One never ceases to make a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is not a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
