If ever you've been down in the dumps, hear these iconic authors share with you more than their writing wisdom. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“There isn’t a parallel of latitude but thinks it would have been the equator if it had had its rights.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you shamefully misuse a cat once she will always maintain a dignified reserve toward you afterward. You will never get her… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we were meant to talk more than listen, we would have two mouths and one ear. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the man doesn't believe as we do, we say he is a crank, and that settles it. I mean, it does… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the world ends, I'll just head on down to Kentucky because they're always 20 years behind. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Jesus died to save men - a small thing for an immortal to do - and didn't save many, anyway. But if… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If there wasn't anything to find out, it would be dull. Even trying to find out and not finding out is just… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If God is what people say there can be no one in the universe so unhappy as He; for He sees unceasingly… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Truth is more of a stranger than fiction. When in doubt, tell the truth. If you tell the truth, you don't have… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you will notice, there is seldom a telegram in a paper which fails to show up one or more members &… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I would not rob you of your food or your clothes or your umbrella, but if I caught your German out I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Life was a fairy-tale, then, it is a tragedy now. When I was 43 and John Hay 41 he said life was… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Leaving out the gamblers, the burglars, and the plumbers, perhaps we do put our trust in God after a fashion. But, after… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Knighterrantry is a most chuckleheaded trade, and it is tedious hard work, too, but I begin to see that there is money… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A private should preserve a respectful attitude toward his superiors, and should seldom or never proceed so far as to offer suggestions… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The laws of Nature, that is to say the laws of God, plainly made every human being a law unto himself, we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the bubble reputation can be obtained only at the cannon's mouth, I am willing to go there for it, provided the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
That is an editor. He is trying to think of a word. He props his feet on a chair, which is the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you take epitaphs seriously, we ought to bury the living and resurrect the dead. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
And I urge upon you this - which I think is wisdom - if you find you can't make seventy by any… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Who would find out that I am a natural fool if I kept always cool and never let nature come to the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If it is a Miracle, any sort of evidence will answer, but if it is a Fact, proof is necessary — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Astonishing things can be done with the human memory if you will devote it faithfully to one particular line of business. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does". — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I thoroughly believe that any man who's got anything worthwhile to say will be heard if he only says it often enough. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people, but if we tried to shut up the insane we… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the desire to kill and the opportunity to kill came always together, who would escape hanging? — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we only had some God in the country's laws, instead of being in such a sweat to get him into the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A joke, even if it be a lame one, is nowhere so keenly relished or quickly applauded as in a murder trial. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
