I have always put my own money into Tails of Joy. For years, every time a dog walked by, my husband would… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
I pray if I ever find out I have only about three minutes to live it's during a basketball game, because then… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
As a standup comedian, I've worked almost every New Year's Eve of my adult life. It's the best-paying night of the year. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
A study last year showed that the page you turn to first in the newspaper can be a predictor of how long… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
When I played the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas on New Year's Eve, I got to bring Wiley, my 85-pound black lab.… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
I like to go after the foibles, basically of beliefs that are held without question. If people still want to believe in… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
When I was growing up in comedy, there were maybe 10 comics in the whole country. Everyone had a day job. You… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
Designers don't put out the same sweater every year. They just keep creating. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
Many animal rescue organizations hit with a hard-core, heartbreaking message. Their videos and stories can become difficult for average people to watch.… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
Calgary wins for my coldest New Year's Eve gig. That's when I learned Fahrenheit and Celsius cross at 40 below. I could… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
Guys wake up at your place and they expect breakfast. They don't eat bagels and M&M's in the morning. They want things like toast.… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
I always had a running commentary in my head that was extremely funny and off-center, but I never said it to anyone. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
The thing about breaking up when you get older, you just don't have the steam anymore. "Oh, that's it. I can't start shaving my… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
I'd much rather see Richard Pryor or Jackie Mason in a theater than in a club. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
Now that the Court has declared money to be speech, I say we replace the current Court with some Ben Franklins, Thomas Jeffersons, George… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
President Reagan is a lot like E.T. He's cute, he's lovable, and he knows nothing about how Americans live. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
I deliver very traditionally, and people aren't threatened. I think if I cursed or seemed wilder, I couldn't get away with the amount of… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
There's only one difference between Jews and Catholics. Jews are born with guilt, and Catholics have to go to school to learn it. — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
Men put all kinds of expectations on you. They want you to scream 'You're the best' while swearing you've never done this with anyone… — Elayne Boosler Copy Share Image
