Humor Quote by David Sedaris Download Open image ““Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”” — David Sedaris ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.7 out of 5 (10 ratings) Copy quoteShare Humor Humorist
“Familiarity does not breed contempt. Anyone who says otherwise is trying to hide the secret conviction that they’re boring.” — Patrick Honovich Copy Share Image
“If you feel that you are a miserly stingy parsimonious guy, at least let not that impression formed in the minds of others.” — Toba Beta Copy Share Image
“We just tiptoe around things, afraid we’ll offend or look ignorant, be misunderstood. Honesty is a risk few are willing to take.” — Kennedy Ryan Copy Share Image
“I am for the most part so convinced that everything is lacking in basis, consequence, justification, that if someone dared to contradict me, even… — Emil Cioran Copy Share Image
“... failing to look inscrutable to any but the habitually dismissive ...” — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
“I'm not conceited. I'm just honest about being so much better than other people.” — Paul Hoffman Copy Share Image
“I know that I am not always right to the perception of some, but I am not daunted of being wrong. That's the effectiveness… — Lionel Suggs Copy Share Image
“I have always suspected everyone who likes me of having poor judgment. I despise them for being so easily taken in.” — Jerzy Kosiński Copy Share Image
“Is your animosity towards a person warranted, or is it a reflection of your own insecurities?” — Trenice Carter Copy Share Image
“Despite appearances I'm not a cynic. I'm a sarcastic pragmatist.” — Stephen "B5"Jones Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy. — Shane Dawson Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants. — Rhoda Janzen Copy Share Image
“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly.… — S.K. Munt Copy Share Image
“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.” — Markus Herz Copy Share Image
“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which… — Kate Quinn Copy Share Image
In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but… — Luke Evans Copy Share Image
“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once,… — Nora Ephron Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
“ “Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do? Yes, I say--Northerners.” Roy Blount, Jr., Roy Blount’s Book of Southern Humor” — Deborah Ford Copy Share Image