Said Quotes by David Sedaris

My sister Tiffany told me years ago, 'You can never write about me.' Then she called six months ago and said she…

— David Sedaris

I can't promise I'll never kill anyone again," he once said, strapping a refrigerator to his back. "It's unrealistic to live your…

— David Sedaris

All of us take pride and pleasure in the fact that we are unique, but I'm afraid that when all is said…

— David Sedaris

I hate you' she said to me one afternoon. 'I really, really hate you.' Call me sensitive, but I couldn't help but…

— David Sedaris

She said, “I’m going to have you fired.” I had two people say that to me today, “I’m going to have you…

— David Sedaris

I’d always been afraid of sick people, and so had my mother. It wasn’t that we feared catching their brain aneurysm or…

— David Sedaris

Einstein wrote that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. That said, is it crazier…

— David Sedaris

This is hurting me a lot more than it’s hurting you," he said. It was his standard line, but I knew that…

— David Sedaris

I met a young woman the other day, and she said, what advice would you have for a writer, and I said…

— David Sedaris

As I searched the atlas for somewhere to run to, Hugh made a case for his old stomping grounds. His first suggestion…

— David Sedaris

I've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so…

— David Sedaris

We're not unique in our family. We're more ambitious but we're not special. I'm not funnier than anyone else in my family;…

— David Sedaris

The woman in charge of costuming assigned us our outfits and gave us a lecture on keeping things clean. She held up…

— David Sedaris

Someone told me something recently about Sarah Palin, someone I trusted in the book business. They said, "I worked with Palin. She…

— David Sedaris