“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“November 4, 1987 Chicago I saw a bumper sticker the other day that read I LOVE KILLING COMMUNISTS. The word love was… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Now, I like a church service, but this was one of those write-your-own-vows sorts of things. Neither of them had ever picked… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
.. but all of a sudden they’re poets, right, like that’s all it takes — being in love. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
A history of listening to Top 40 radio had left me with a ridiculous and clichéd notion of love. I had never… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Whenever I write about my family, I start by getting my parent`s approval. I like to think I write about them with… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“One of the things we laughed about was an old episode of The Newlywed Game. The host asked the wives, “What’s the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I love 'Glee.' I cry all the time when I watch 'Glee' because I don't know if it's satire or melodrama and… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Such movies are always a danger...falling in love is something most adults have actually experienced...The theme is universal and encourages...unhealthy comparisons...why can't… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I can’t be alone in this, can I? And, of course, you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Therefore you keep the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Amy adored both the new look and the new person it allowed her to be. Following the photo shoot, she wore her… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Most people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“I think about death all the time, but only in a romantic, self-serving way, beginning, most often, with my tragic illness and… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
...clatter of a typwriter suggests that you're actually building something. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
