The landscape is best described as 'pedestrian hostile.' It's pointless to try to take a walk, so I generally just stay in… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Watching him was like opening the door to a siniging telegram; you know it's supposed to be entertaining, but you can't get… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
You really burden the reader if you put things in but, "Oh, it's not interesting, but I'll put it in anyway." Then… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I think it just has to do with getting older and getting better at what it was I was doing, and that… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I would still be reading out loud. I think that if you are any kind of an artist, then validation is just… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I don't worry about being exposed. When I'm writing about myself I think about myself as a character. There is a ton… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had had nothing to talk about.… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I started writing one afternoon when I was twenty, and ever since then I have written every day. At first I had… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Usually, if I think something is really funny, it doesn't get any reaction whatsoever. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Hugh consoled me, saying, "Don't let it get to you. There are plenty of things you're good at." When asked for some… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When someone tell me they illegally downloaded one of my audiobooks I think, Thanks a lot, Pal. When someone tells me they… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'm so old that when I started keeping a diary they were in actual books, and I think that's one the reasons… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I think I became a better writer after I started writing for the New Yorker. Well, I know I did. And part… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I rejected the word humorist for a long time because I thought that it meant you had, like, a cardigan sweater with… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I'd tried to straighten him out, but there's only so much you can do for a person who thinks Auschwitz is a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Whenever I write about my family, I start by getting my parent`s approval. I like to think I write about them with… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I wish that I had re-edited 'Theft By Finding' after I did the audio. Because the audio took 40 hours in the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
The trouble with aggressive nonsmokers is that they feel they are doing you a favor by not allowing you to smoke. They… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I've never written about sex in my diary. Like if you read my diary, you wouldn't think I'm a virgin, but you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
The difference between writing where you know where to draw the line and writing where you're being way too mean is whether… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I started typing diary in, I don't know, 1978 or '79, but then the computer changed that a lot. Because with the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When I look at a lot of older stuff that I've written, I think one sign of amateur humor writing is when… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
