She's afraid to tell me anything important, knowing I'll only turn around and write about it. In my mind, I'm like a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
On one tour, I was collecting stories about pet monkeys. You'd be surprised how many people have stories about monkeys. The problem… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn't have to be a big thing; in fact, most often,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I was first published in the newspaper put out by School of The Art Institute of Chicago, where I was a student.… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I mean, I'm always happy if I have, like, humiliating asshole things that I did. I think: Oh good, that's a good… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
There are a lot of college writing textbooks that will include essays and short stories, and after reading the story or essay,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
Writing helped to have jobs that involved running around, pushing things like dish carts and wheelbarrows. It would be hard to sit… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.” — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts. — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a… — David Sedaris Copy Share Image
![“A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the fit.” quote by David Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/73f/david-sedaris-333_fit_a-good-short-story-would-take-me-out-of_1235635.jpg)
