Stories Quotes by David Sedaris

12 Stories quotes by David Sedaris

David Sedaris turns ordinary moments into sharp, funny snapshots. This set of twelve pieces captures his trademark humor and keen observation, offering a quick, enjoyable taste of his storytelling style.

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I just think that the people who say: 'That's not true' when someone tells a story at dinner are the people who…

David Sedaris

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A good [short story] would take me out of myself and then stuff me back in, outsized, now, and uneasy with the…

David Sedaris

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On one tour, I was collecting stories about pet monkeys. You'd be surprised how many people have stories about monkeys. The problem…

David Sedaris

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Every so often my life will feel like a story. It doesn't have to be a big thing; in fact, most often,…

David Sedaris

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I mean, I'm always happy if I have, like, humiliating asshole things that I did. I think: Oh good, that's a good…

David Sedaris

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I think if you write humor, then people don't - you know - they don't give you that much credit. They tend…

David Sedaris

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There are a lot of college writing textbooks that will include essays and short stories, and after reading the story or essay,…

David Sedaris

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It can take years. With the first draft, I just write everything. With the second draft, it becomes so depressing for me,…

David Sedaris

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Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will…

David Sedaris

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I was first published in the newspaper put out by School of The Art Institute of Chicago, where I was a student.…

David Sedaris

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She's afraid to tell me anything important, knowing I'll only turn around and write about it. In my mind, I'm like a…

David Sedaris

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Writing helped to have jobs that involved running around, pushing things like dish carts and wheelbarrows. It would be hard to sit…

David Sedaris

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“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick…

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“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk…

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“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a…

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“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,…

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One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here…

David Sedaris

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When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

David Sedaris

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“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?”

David Sedaris

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“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”

David Sedaris

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As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

David Sedaris

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“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you…

David Sedaris

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In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work…

David Sedaris

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My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a…

David Sedaris

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I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:…

David Sedaris