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Marriage Quotes by David Sedaris

12 Marriage quotes by David Sedaris

All Marriage quotes David Sedaris’s page

David Sedaris tackles marriage with his trademark sharp wit, turning everyday moments into laugh‑out‑loud observations. These twelve brief quips reveal his keen eye for the absurdities and tender quirks of long‑term partnership, offering a quick yet entertaining glimpse into his comedic take on love.

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Jeremy, Good luck on your first marriage.

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If finding an apartment is like falling in love, buying one is like proposing on your first date and agreeing not to…

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In my dream world gay people in America would get the right to marry, and not a one of them would use…

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You meet people who say, "Oh, I'd like to do such-and-such, but I don't have the time." But it always seemed to…

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..she took pictures of germs, viruses, and people reacting to germs and viruses. On weekends, for extra money, she photographed weddings, which…

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I'm for gay elopement, not for gay weddings. I've been with my boyfriend for twenty years. I don't feel like that would…

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“One of the things we laughed about was an old episode of The Newlywed Game. The host asked the wives, “What’s the…

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“If you don’t want to marry a homosexual, then don’t. But what gives you the right to weigh in on your neighbor’s…

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The good thing about being gay was always that you didn't have a wedding. People would say, "He's gay, but at least…

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The good thing about being gay, though, I always believed, is that you didn't make anyone go to a wedding. Nobody wants…

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The interesting thing about gay people is that you can't really put on a wedding without them. They're the ones who make…

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“States vote to take away my marriage rights, and even though I don’t want to get married, it tends to hurt my…

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“Plenty of animals had pets, but few were more devoted than the mouse, who owned a baby corn snake—“A rescue snake, she’d be quick…

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“never fall asleep in a Dumpster, never underestimate a bee, never drive a convertible behind a flatbed truck, never get old, never get drunk…

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“It was a father, one hand resting teapot-style on his hip, and the other - what would be the spout - formed into a…

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“A Japanese woman we’d met in Paris came to the apartment yesterday and spent several hours explaining our appliances. The microwave, the water kettle,…

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One thing I like about the United States, and I kind of miss about the United States, is there's an election coming up here…

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When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

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“You have how many children in your family?" the teacher would ask. "I'm guessing you must be Catholic, am I right?”

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“Like most seasoned phonies, I roundly suspect that everyone is as disingenuous as I am.”

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As a child I assumed that when I reached adulthood, I would have grown-up thoughts.

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“You just take and take don´t you? Out there with your thumb in the air—not a care in the world, just grabbing whatever you…

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In other parts of the country people tried to stay together for the sake of the children. In New York they tried to work…

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My boyfriend got me a computer three years ago. I'll admit it does make things a lot easier. When I was working on a…

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I spent months searching for some secret code before I realized that common sense has nothing to do with it. Hysteria, psychosis, torture, depression:…

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I hated leaving a hole in the smoking world, and so I recruited someone to take my place. People have given me a lot…

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Write relentlessly, until you find your voice. Then, use it.

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