SMS / Text Messages

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.

A beggar claps back at a stingy man who keeps saying 'come tomorrow' — turns out he's owed lakhs from all the tomorrows in this colony.

Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
Saheb: Kal aana.
Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon
rupaye fase huye hain.

main tumharey liye sub kuch chor du gi

A girl pledges to give up everything for her boyfriend — parents, food, the whole world — right up until he mentions Star Plus.

Girl:mai tumharey liye sub kuch chor du gi
Boy: ma baap
Girl:Yes
Boy: khana penna
Girl: Yes
Boy: sari dunya
Girl: Yes
Boy:Star Plus
Girl: apna mou sambhal kar baat karo...!!!

Main ullu ka patha ...!

A boy insists on sleeping on the sofa instead of his host's son's room — and deeply regrets his decision come morning.

1 bar ek larka apni door ki aunty k ghar gaya.

Usay kafi dair ho gaye,

aunty ne kaha beta aaj tum

guddu k pass so jao.

Larka bola rehne dain bahar sofay per hi so jata hon

next morning a beautiful girl bring tea 4 him.

Boy asked tum kon ho.
Girl: main guddu aap kon?
Boy: main ullu ka patha.

Aaj kal mein free hun

An old saying about wise conversation beating books is invoked here — and the sender happens to have a very open schedule.

Buzrgon ka qual he ky.
Ek akalmand se kuch der bat karna
ek mahene tak ketab parhne se behtar he.

Tu aaj kal me free hun aap jab chahen bat kar saktay hein.

rook kar dikhaye

A grammar class turns into an impossible challenge when a student's future tense answer dares anyone to actually stop it happening.

Teacher:"Mere papa aaj job par gae hain"
Iss ka future tense banao!

Student: Woh kal bhi jaenge,
kisi k baap main himmat hai to rok k dikhae

How are you ?

An extremely formal and flowery passage in high classical Urdu that unfolds over many lines — and translates into two words of English.

Khaksar janab e faatir ul aqal ki kheriat ki malomat ki khwahish k jurm me mubtila hona chahta hai. Khudara! Hamein apni masrufiat se aagah kar k, humare qalb, zahen or rooh ki aamaizish ki halchal or iztirab ki kash-ma-kash me thehrao peda karne ki ek nakam koshish zaror kijie ga.Janab e qavi o buland qad shakhsiat ka ye ehsan, banda e aajiz ki be ronaq zindagi me bahar se kam na hoga...
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English Version
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Hey !!

Whats up dude ?

Thakur & basanti ka rishta?

A brainteaser built around the Bollywood film Sholay — figuring out the relationship between Basanti and Thakur has one crucial obstacle.

Agar basanti ki mausi
thakur ko raakhi bandhe to
basanti thakur ka kya rishta hua?
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Apna kaam kro Koi rishta nhi bnta
thakur k haath hi nhi the:-):-

Oye KHANA KHUL GAYA

Asks when family members stop caring about each other — the answer is the exact moment someone announces the food is open at a wedding.

Ae insan zara soch wo kon sa waqt hote he
jab Bhai Bhai ka nahi Beta Bap ka nahi Maa
Beti ki nahi HOti?

Jab SHADI haal me awaz aati he

"Oye KHANA KHUL GAYA"

zara se cell mein de jagah tu

A romantic message in Roman Urdu asking for a little space — framed entirely in terms of cell memory and inbox capacity.

Zara se 'cell' mein de jagah tu,
Zara se 'inbox' le saja tu,
Zara se 'sent items' mein ja tu,
Zara se 'balance' le ghata tu,
Mein bhejuun tujhko mere sms bephana

Cricket match, Wife and husband

A husband picks the worst moment to ask his wife how he looks — right as a batsman hits a six on television.

Wife TV par match dekh rahi thi,
husband smart banke aya or bola,
"DARLING MEIN KAISA LAG RAHA HU?"
tabhi wife zorse chillayi'
CHAKKAAAA!!!

Song in different languages

HINDI:

A Kya Bolti Tu ?
A Kya Mai Bolu ?
Sun
Suna
Ati Kya Khandala ?
Kya karu Ake mai Khandala ?
Are Ghumenge, nachenge, gayenge Aish karenge or kya

URDU

AAP KUCH BOLEIN?
HUM KYA BOLEIN??
MULAIZA FARMAYEIN
IRSHAD
TASHREEF LAYEINGI KHANDALA?
KYA KAREIN HUM KHANDALA TASHREEF LAAKE??
ARRE GHOOMEINGE, NAACHEINGE, NAGMEIN SUNAYEINGE, TAFREE KAREINGE OR
KYA!!

ENGLISH:

Aye what do you say?
Aye what should I say?
Listen.
Speak on.
Coming to khandala?
What should I do, coming to khandala?
We¢â‚¬â¢ll roam, we¢â‚¬â¢ll loaf, we¢â‚¬â¢ll sing, we¢â‚¬â¢ll dance we”ll
freak, baby,what else?

SANSKRIT :

This is too good
Aye balike, twam katham kathisyasi
Aye balakah aham kim kathisyamh
Shrinvasi!
Shrunha
Kim twam khandaalaa agchasyasi
Aham kim kurwasyami khandaalayeh
gamisyami, bhramisyami, nryuthyami, gaayami, maja
karishma, kim karishyam …….

Problem solve nahi hoti

An observation that neither alcohol nor milk solves any problems — followed by a reasonable conclusion about what to do next.

"Daru pene se problem solve nahi hote"
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Expert comment
"Preblem doodh pene se bhi solve nahi hote"
So Cheers!!!