Funny SMS / Text Messages

Positive thinking is like.....
U r standing on the middle of the road.........
&
suddenly a crow beats on your head....
But you remain calm...
and thanks to God...
that cows dont fly:)

A bull and a cow is grazing in the field

Teacher : Correct the sentence,
"A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"

Student : "A cow and a bull is grazing in the field"
Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

How he got into the house

A man went to the Police Station wishing
to speak with the burglar who had
broken into his house the night before.

“Youll get your chance in court,‚ said the Police officer.

“No, no no!‚ said the man.
“I want to know how he got into the house
without waking my wife. Ive been trying for years.‚

itni khushi bardasht nahin ker sakta

Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

Terrorist hijacked 747 lawyers.

Q: Hear about the terrorist
that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?

A: He threatened to release one
every hour if his demands weren't met.

Part & art of living

Having "WIFE" Is A
Part Of Living...

But

Having "GIRLFRIEND"
Along With The "WIFE" Is
Art Of Living

Chances of my recovering?

Patient : What are the chances
of my recovering doctor?

Doctor : One hundred percent.
Medical records show that
nine out of ten people die of the disease you have.

Yours is the tenth case I've treated.The others all died.

Clock will never be stolen

Words Written Above A Classroom Clock….
“This Clock Will Never Be Stolen,
Coz Too Many Students Are Watching It..!

A man went to hell

A man went to hell and asked
the Yamraj if he can call his wife.
yamraj said "u can do that"

after man spoke to his wife..
he asked how much to pay yamraj
yamraj said.."hell to hell is free"

Difference between shit and oh shit

Difference b/w shit & Oohh shit:
.
A boy Threw a love letter to a girl
.
but it fell on her brother..
Shittt!
.

And Her brother was GAY..
Oohh ShIt
:-P

To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"