“Some guys are the type of people who bring brass knuckles to a fight. I've always thought it prudent to bring some… — Jarod Kintz Running shoes Copy Share Image
“Did I hear that right? Did someone say ice cream? It’s an odd thing to say in the middle of a eulogy,… — Jarod Kintz Ice cream Copy Share Image
Love is a green sky on a blue pasture, and I am the flying cow eating it all up — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“I want to import what’s important, and export the trivial out of my life.” — Jarod Kintz Life Copy Share Image
“I like people watching. My favorite places are cemeteries. Tell your great grandpa I said hi next time you see him.” — Jarod Kintz Next time Copy Share Image
“Love is 3:33 am plus 360 degrees plus 365 days, minus 12:34 pm. I ought to know, because I weighed it myself.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Are you happy to be standing here with me? Because if not, we can scoot over six inches.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add another blanket on top… — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“The bus had one too many people on it (the driver), so all of them had to die. The only thing that… — Jarod Kintz Motivation Copy Share Image
“I want to move to a ghost town and try to sell the population bodies to dwell in.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’d imagine if you called me Cherry Cheeks, it’d make me blush like a salad.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ll leave the door unlocked. Be sure to ring the doorbell before you climb in through the window.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t care if you live by the motto: let the chips fall where they may, but don’t you dare spill the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t know the man standing next to me in the mirror. He looks like me, so is he my clone? He… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t want to adopt your ideas, I want to give birth to them.” — Jarod Kintz Birth Copy Share Image
“I postulate that there is something stickier than semen. That substance is love.” — Jarod Kintz Love Copy Share Image
“Before you enter politics, I pray you lose your anal virginity to a unicorn.” — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“I’d use my shadow as a blanket, but it’s too cold. It’s a shame, because it’d fit snuggly over my body.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to battle the cold, but not battle an army with swords, bayonets, and other sharp objects (unless… — Jarod Kintz Sharp words Copy Share Image
