Funny Quote by Darynda Jones Download Open image ““LIKE THE SUICIDAL RACCOON, I, TOO, WILL FUCK UP YOUR ALIGNMENT IF YOU RUN ME OVER. - T-shirt”” — Darynda Jones ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 3.5 out of 5 (3 ratings) Copy quoteShare Fuck Alignment Funny Like Suicidal Raccoon Raccoon Fuck Run Shirt Suicidal Suicidal Raccoon Tshirt
“Raccoon Coon, why did you come to this dance with a mask on? Why not the tin man and his rainbow girl? Why not… — Anne Sexton Copy Share Image
“If I'd have been thinking I would have left some Woolite and my delicates by the sink for him to rinse out, but you… — Jenny Lawson Copy Share Image
“waking up to a band of raccoons partying in her cabin. They’d torn through the screen door and made off with a box of… — Marina Adair Copy Share Image
“He looked like a raccoon, so I told him to take off his coonskin cap. So he did. Then he looked like a rat,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Steven, I look like a raccoon. You do NOT look like a raccoon. Actually, he looked like some deranged anteater, but I didn’t figure… — Jordan Sonnenblick Copy Share Image
“I object! To shirts that have circular holes cut out where my nipples are. Even though I cut the circles in the shirt, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Until you have experienced raccoons mating underneath your bedroom at three in the morning, you have missed one of life's sensational moments.” — Robert Fulghum Copy Share Image
He bombarded me with words, of all things, apparently clueless to the fact that the predawn hours rendered me incapable of coherent thought. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding." I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
God I loved Sammy. I’d considered marrying him, but his wife got upset when I asked for his hand. — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“Oh, my god, I don't know. What do you want?" "You," he said, his voice lowering an octave. "I want you, Dutch, body and… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“If ever there was a time to carry a flashlight, it would definitely be at night.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
In three hundred feet, turn right," Darth Vader said. The Darth Vader. I felt like we were friends now. Like I could tell him… — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
“I reported to work the next morning looking like something the cat dragged in, half eaten yet somehow still alive.” — Darynda Jones Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image