Jordan Sonnenblick

I seriously think I could have sat in the middle of the kitchen floor rubbing two sticks together over a pile of…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

He also said that if anyone did anything to mess up the rest of the testing, he was going to call 911…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

“One moon shows in every pool; in every pool, the one moon.”

— Jordan Sonnenblick

If you promise you will get better instead of dying, I promise I will, too.

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Mr. Watras asked me whether I was practicing, and I told him I was practicing my tissue basketball skills.

— Jordan Sonnenblick

“Tattitude: Wow, Jeff, who's the babe? Dangerous_pie: Your mom. Tattitude: No, the one three feet away from you. Dangerous_pie: Oh, that's Lindsey…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

“And maybe this whole thing has taught me something else about what kindness is for. Because, looking back at this year, I…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Take care, Jeffy. I’ll see you soon, right? Just remember not to throw food at the nurses. I don’t want to get…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

“Others...are so sure the world is full of nothing but bullies that they become bullies themselves, trying to hit everyone in the…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Note to self: It's hard to attain a state of no-mind when you're incredibly pumped up on tea and sugar and have…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Or maybe...their biggest fear is that they will get close to you again, and you'll go and drop dead.

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Some kids do drugs. Some kids light stuff on fire. Me, I eat oats.

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Annette had kissed me. Who would’a thunk it?

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Me: Well, you see, I, uh, I'm a cancer survivor. Person #1: And how's that working out for you? Me: Well, you…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

...my little blurb wasn't going to win me any speaker-of-the-year awards, but at least I hadn't tripped and fallen off the stage,…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

And if there was one thing I'd finally figured out, it was that your mind is something you always CAN change.

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Not fair? Oh, I'm sorry I get this lovely laptop computing device when all you get is the ability to walk, control…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Renee was beautiful, but she was my friend now. On the other hand, Annette was my friend, but now she was beautiful.…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

I’ll probably just stand in a corner, trying not to be noticed, until the decoration committee accidentally packs me into a box…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Not, like, that, boychik, you sound like a herd of elephants charging through a music store.

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Steven, I know I phrased that as a question, but it was really a command. Yes, but mine is…ummm…private. Private, Steven? Yes,…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

“Kind of a wuss? Kind of a wuss? Dude, you are, like, the Duke of Wussendorf. The Earl of Wussheim. In fact,…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

Who’s that? That’s the King. Who’s he? The Duke. Who’s she? The Princess. What do they call you? The Count. What does…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

You are a wonderful son, and a wonderful man. Yet another parent busting forth with the “man” thing! I’d have to check…

— Jordan Sonnenblick

This was the kid who used to toddle over to my bed at 6 o’ clock in the morning every weekend morning…

— Jordan Sonnenblick