“A brick could be placed in the trunk of a car manufacturer’s competitor, to increase the odds of decreasing their fuel efficiency. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make yourself taller. It’s like self-esteem, only easier to use in the construction of a house. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to represent a memory. That way when you live in a brick house, you could be living… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to practice your telepathic levitation. If you can lift the brick, you’ll lift your spirits. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to bestow gratitude upon your favorite (or least favorite) politician. Let them know your approval level by… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick and blanket could be used to turn my words around like backwards high heels on my tongue .” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like yellow sneezes hello every time love walks like a slinky down the stairs. Who used my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used for a calf muscle implant for a bodybuilder who wants a competitive edge. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be carried to the beach. You can bring your laptop or tablet and work from anywhere in the world,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to wade into dangerous territory with a man named Wade who builds houses made only of wood.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to build a color theory that red objects encapsulate rage. Don’t believe me? Think of all the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I were a mad scientist, I’d use a brick in an angry way. And if I were a mad scientist, I’d… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like March 5th marches in a marching band. And guess what, as the marching band director, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I put two bricks side by side in the grass and called it a race. Neither one moved so I renamed it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop people from reading my book. Just place the brick on the book’s cover, to discourage… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in place of B. Rick, who is sorry he couldn’t make it to this sentence. But he… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to say hello in a foreign language. Like most great words, it’d also have synonyms. One such… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to start a civil war. And then that same brick could be used to start building the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to manipulate people into doing what you want. If anything could offer one man an unfair advantage… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to declare war on a country made of glass. I’ll bet those citizens would love to drink… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a bottle opener. Just don’t smash down too hard, or you’ll shatter the bottle. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be an object to measure your life against. Are you square, rigid, and inflexible? If yes, are you in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as man’s best friend, if you covered it in fur and taught it to bark and shit… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a door handle. On an all-brick house this would be great, but on an all-brick car… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop a murder. Just wedge it in front of the door of the murderer, and enclose… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a stand in for something to stand on, when a ladder’s on location in another location. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick and a blanket aptly describe my former roommate. He was as dumb as a brick, and only highly functional on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to suppress certain groups of people, particularly those individuals who are too weak to stand up and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as the ultimate bug crusher. But why you’d use a brick as a shoe, I have no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as an AFD, or Atmospheric Floating Device, whose sole function is to make people ask WTF? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to paint a mural of your favorite politician. It doesn’t matter how accurate it is, just so… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to locate the precise coordinates of the Masons. Just follow the bricks—and follow the money. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a floatation device. But only use it if the person drowning is a politician. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could replace your window, if your window’s opaque, and you throw the brick hard enough. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a paperweight, if the words you wrote weren’t weighty enough to hold it down. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a bowling ball. With how bad I bowl, a rectangle ball couldn’t possibly hurt my score,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a measurement of time. Yes, just think how stylish you’ll look with a brick duct taped… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick has no legs, so it probably slithers like a snake. Therefore, a brick might make a good pet. And at… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a fashion accessory. Or an accessory to murder. I believe the phrase is, "If looks could… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a basketball. And when you miss a shot, you can always shout, “Brick!” ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
