“A brick could be used to crush the Fruit of Desire and make the Juice of Destiny. Drink it before I lose… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to monitor earthquakes. If the brick crumbles apart, you can bet an earthquake occurred. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to destroy your mannequin lover. It’s the only proper thing to do. Remember, I was the one… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When you see my skill with a brick, you’ll think I’m skilled under the blanket. But I’m not. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl under it before you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to start your car, if your car’s keys are cube-shaped and huge. You know what else cube-shaped… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make love better. Faster isn’t always better. Don’t you want to make love better? ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick is a polarizing object. Especially if you find it at either the North or the South Pole. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to illustrate the seriousness of the situation. You’ll know I’m not playing when I display a brick.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to show support for your favorite team. They want to crush their opponents, and if you’ve got… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to show how patient you are. Somewhere between one brick and a million bricks lies a home.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to feed the homeless. But why not use those bricks to build the homeless people homes? Oh yeah,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to perpetually feed the hungry, stop all wars, educate the masses, and ensure everlasting peace for all… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to represent society as a whole. But to represent society as a half, I’d recommend using either… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be grown on a tree, much like an apple or money, so that maybe humanity could achieve world peace—starting… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to build structures that homosapiens can live in and engage in homosexuality in. Crazy, right? Well, it is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to better improve relations with your relatives. But if you’re going to play quarterback, you’d better be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick makes an excellent window cleaner, if you throw it hard enough. Before you know it, your window will look so… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
