“A brick could be used to motivate. Just hold it up as an example of something that’s going nowhere in life. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“One brick could be used to do the work of two men, if both men are dead. In this case, a blanket… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick can be neither good nor bad. A brick just is. And it isn’t, because I just stole it from you,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be crushed, mixed with water, and drunk like a sports drink. And hey, with no bromated vegetable oil, it’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as motivation to acquire more bricks. Hey, I’m just trying to help here. Don’t shut me out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to remind you. I would remind you of what you need to be reminded about, but that’s… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be substituted in for Kansas as a US state, because they’re roughly the same shape, they have the same… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to disguise the fact that I’m blushing. Oh my God, I’m so embarrassed! Don’t look at the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop war. Logically, a non-brick could be used to start a war. The most common non-brick… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a status symbol, much like a Mercedes is now. The cool thing about a brick is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make the world safer for our children. Well, not our children, as I don't actually have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a replacement for an erection. Hey, I did it in the early 2000s, and I gave… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to help teach teenagers to tie their shoes. Honestly, if they are so stupid that they haven’t… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and Republican Presidential candidates. People will say, Vote… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a symbol for the kind of life I’m trying to build. The question now is, what… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop potential terrorist plots. But it sure would be more effective if I could just record… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to make it harder for people to achieve their dreams. A brick is just another obstacle they… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be affixed to the collar of my shirt, because I’ve already got the weight of the world on my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a scapegoat. But don’t blame the brick. The brick didn’t kill my mother-in-law. It was merely… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick can’t cure cancer. But who knows, maybe a brick combined with a blanket could. I’ll have to ask Dr. Burzynski… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as disbelief. I can tell you believe me, so why don’t you go ahead and hold this… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used in place of a diamond on a wedding ring. Your wife's probably going to divorce you and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to wash your hands. And after that, I’d suggest you wash out your filthy mouth. Scrub it… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to describe somebody hard and inflexible, and a blanket could be used to describe somebody warm and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to send Satan back from whence he came. But where did he come from? Probably Washington DC. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to start your car, if your car’s keys are cube-shaped and huge. You know what else cube-shaped… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a Red Beard Replacement, for those of us who can’t grow facial hair, but desire the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell tickets to a new sport called Glurping. If you think it sounds disgusting now, wait… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“On is to no, as Dora J. Arod is to Dora J. Arod. And brick is to blanket, as Dora J. Arod… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to neatly pack your suitcase. It would promote personal strength and frugality. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to sell new shoes to a man with no hands. I would say a brick could be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a child’s game to improve memory. I forgot how exactly, but then I never played much.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to dink like a dunk, if the thunk of the think has enough verticalocity to it. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick can and should be used as a telephone, because that way I won’t feel so bummed out that she never… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be grown on a tree, much like an apple or money, so that maybe humanity could achieve world peace—starting… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be a columnist for the New York Times, and could even win a Nobel Prize. And why not? Is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to decorate a house. And not just one brick, thousands could be stacked and affixed together and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to gauge the level of reciprocated sexual interest of the person or object of your desire. A… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used like the point where always meets never. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a thick bumper sticker. Then if you get in a crash, you can blame it on… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
