Quote by Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used like sandpaper, to smooth out a cat’s rough tongue.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to wipe your ass with. You know, if you already live someplace shitty.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to get a new job. Hire me! I have a brick, and I’m not afraid to use it.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what I mean.…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used like ice cream. But hold up, hold up. Let me put a bowl under it before you start licking,…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as a spoon—to eat, not cuddle. OK fine, you can use it to cuddle too.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as toilet paper—especially if you just shit a brick. You could shit and wipe your way to a wall…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as a laxative. You know, “Shit a brick.”
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to illustrate your innocence. I can help you with that, because I brought a crayon. 
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— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to crush grapes. If that sounds unnecessarily cruel, then I guess you wouldn’t like to pour you a glass…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to stop the tears. The inside of my jeans’ pockets look suspiciously like handkerchiefs. Here, let me take off…

— Jarod Kintz