“A blanket could be used to draw a map on—a treasure map, and not something Google has knowledge of. Want to know… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to distribute ice cream to dyslexics. Blankets are cold and ice cream needs to be kept warm,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to crack the code of love. What is it, where do I find it, and how much… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to confuse and disorient. Think of it not as a bed adornment, but as a really big… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then either discarded or folded up… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to sell ice cream to streakers. Well, it could, if those naked runners didn’t leave their wallets… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used for a soft opening of a new casino. The softer the better, I always say. Well, I… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My routine is comforting, like a comforter. But a blanket could easily be used to replace my routine, because a comforter is… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket would be a great surface to print my new book on, so you could read it in bed while you’re… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make people smile. But the blanket won’t make just anyone smile—it will make people with no… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used to keep politicians warm, when we kick them all to the street. They’ll be warm, but they’ll be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be folded up and kept in the trunk of my car, in much the same way that I do… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to teach geography to a sleeping man. Better do it quick, before he wakes up and finds… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to represent no, and a blanket could be used to represent yes. If I ask you, “Will… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Is a one foot by one foot piece of cloth a blanket? What about if you rotate it all over your body… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to protect your heart from heartbreak. Keep your heart warm, because if your heart grows as cold… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could keep a family of three warm for a lifetime, but global warming could do the same for the world… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up my modesty. And used to cover up my nakedness. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used at the end of meetings, to wrap things up—sort of like a big office burrito of productivity. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket might make the ideal politician, because they’re warm, comforting, soft, and easily corruptible. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a distraction. Wave it to the right, while you loot to the left. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Blankets could be used as tents. That would free up tents to be used as portable sex stalls. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cause global warming. If you don’t want to future generations to die, I’d recommend shivering in… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to show people the benefits of sleeping with a parachute—especially if you’ve got a flying bed like… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must! ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to lay down the law. Lay it down over there, on top of the bed, and I’ll… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to cover up your infidelity. Either use the blanket to hide your cheating ways, or figure out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a cover of your favorite song by your favorite cover band. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to keep your body warm. After all, your body starts cooling off rapidly once you die. But… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to suppress yawns. Just curl up in the technological wonder that is a blanket, lay your head… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to fix your broken marriage. You’ll also need duct tape, an empty car trunk, a getaway driver,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to represent my feelings for you. I think it’s slightly more communicative than me giving you a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A flag could be used as a blanket, but a blanket couldn’t be used as a flag. A blanket provides real warmth,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to a man who’s not only tone deaf, but also regular deaf. Just wave… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used as a distress symbol. You’ll know I’m in danger and in need of rescue, because I’ll be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to silence your internal critic. And if you don’t shut him up, I’ll do it for you.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a yes, and a blanket could be a no. Make your life so positive that you… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used like a giant piece of paper. Most people just want to cum on it, but occasionally someone… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to say hello to all the goodbyes I was too blind to hear. I’m hungry for a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to announce your intention to announce your intentions. Make sure the blanket is neon orange though, or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
