Sardar SMS / Text Messages

A Sardar and his son get lost in the jungle — the Sardar beats the boy and delivers advice that only makes sense on very slow reflection.

Ek Sardar apnay betay k sath lakriyan kaatnay
jangal gaya. Wapsi mein rasta bhool gaya.
Sardar ghussay se apne betay ko maarnay laga
aur bola:
.
.
.
.
kambakht main to rasta bhool gaya hun,
tu to ghar ja.

Sardar on date with his girlfriend

A Sardar date-prep joke built on a Punjabi wordplay misunderstanding about what it means for something to look "balanced."

Sardar apni girlfriend k sath date
k liye oil mein naha k jata hai
GF: ap oil mein kiun nahay?
Sardar: meine suna tha k
har chiz meezan mein achi lagti hai;->

Jesa karo gay, waisa bharo gay

A Sardar's classroom story about visiting each other ends with an accidental moral that somehow still fits: as you do, so you shall receive.

Teacher:Story sunao
Sardar:1 din hum un k ghar gaye to woh soye howay thay
1 din wo hamare ghar aye to hum soye howa thay.

Jesa karo gay, waisa bharo gay

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb miley

Two Sardars find two bombs and debate safe delivery to the police — their solution is technically honest, just not in the conventional sense.

2 sardaron ko 2 bomb miley,
1st Sardar:chal police ko de k atey hain.
2 sardar:agar koi bomb raste me phat gia to?
1st sardar:jhoot bol dain gay k 1 hi mila tha :p

Sardar want to apply!

A Sardar spots a police station's Wanted poster for serious crimes and goes inside to ask about applying for the listed position.

1 Sardar Police Station K Bahar Se
Guzra Aur Poster Pe Parha
" Wanted For RAPE & MURDER .."

Sardar Ne Andar Ja Ker Kaha:
" I Want To Apply For This Job ..."

Sardar garmi lagay to kia kartay ho?

A Sardar heat joke where the solution to feeling uncomfortably warm while sitting beside an air conditioner is to consider turning it on.

Man:Sardar jee aap ko garmi lagti hai to kia karte ho?
Sardar:AC k pas ja k beth jata hon

Man:Agar phir bhi garmi lagay to?
Sardar:To A/C on kar laita hon :p

Sardar ko neend na aye to kia kare?

A Sardar insomnia exchange where the prescribed cure for not being able to sleep is simply to decide to sleep instead of waiting.

1st sardar:
oye agar neend na aaey to kia kia jaey?

2nd Sardar:Neend ka intizar kernay se behtar
hai k banda soo hi jaye:p

Sardar 2 doctor

A Sardar tells his doctor he can't see people when talking — and the symptom turns out to describe a feature common to every phone call.

Sardar 2 doctr: Mujhey 1 problem hay
DR:Kia?
Sardar:Bat karty waqt admi dikhai nahin deta
Dr:aisa kub hota hay?
Sardar:Phone kartay waqt:p

Inam kis ko mile ga?

A Sardar watching a race asks a perfectly logical-sounding question about why the runners behind the leader are even bothering to run.

Race dekhte howay sardar ne dosray se pocha:
"Inam kis ko mile ga?"
2nd:"Sub se agey waley ko"
Sardar tu phir peechay waley kion bhag rahe hain?

Yaar yeh joray kahan bantay hain?

A Sardar takes "matches made in heaven" completely literally, leading to a regrettable trip to the tailor before the misunderstanding surfaces.

Sardar 1:yar yeh joray kahan bantay hain?
Sardar 2:Aasman par
Pehla:Abay shit yaar
Dosra: Kia howa?
Pehla: main to darzi ko day aaya

EK sardar ki faryad

A Sardar delivers an anguished plea for someone to leave him in peace — and the final line reveals the target of his frustration is a mosquito.

Please mujhe samajhne ki
KOshish Karo

Muje mat tang kro,
Muje akela chordo,
Muje tumse koi taluq
nai raKhna,

Par ye dil rat bhar tumko hi sochta ha,

Soonay do mujhko mat aao yahan

EK sardar ne macher se faryad ki

Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay

A Sardar fare-negotiation joke where he wins the price argument by agreeing to take on the rickshaw driver's job himself.

Sardar: Station jaane k kitne logay?
Riksha wala: 50..
Sardar: 20 lelo..
Riksha wala: 20 main kon le k jaayeega??
Sardar: tum piche bheto hum le k jaayega..