Insult SMS / Text {funny insult SMS jokes in Hindi, English & Urdu}
Classic romantic "you're in my heart, my soul, everywhere" setup, derailed when a Dettol advertisement reminds everyone that germs are everywhere too.
Dil main tum
dharkan me tum
Asman me tum
Zamen me tum
Ankhon me tum
Jahan dekho tum hi tum ho
Detlo wali aunty sach kehti hain
Jaraseem har jaga hotay hain
A KBC game-show setup where the sender gives up one crore rupees rather than name the world's biggest fool — for obvious reasons.
KBC main shahrukh ne
mujh se pocha
world ka sub se bara ullu kon hai?
main ne 1 crore thukra diye,
magar aapka naam nahe bataya.
A string of poetic images — youth, wine, the veil, the rose — before the final line abruptly calls the SMS reader a frog in a pond.
Mosam shabab ka
nasha sharab ka
parda janab ka
aur rang gulab ka
in main sab sey haseen to dekho
sms parhne wala “mendak talab ka”
Opens with flattery about your name being posted on every wall and door in town — then reveals what those posters actually say about you.
Har gali har deewar par apka name likha hai.
Har khirki har darwaze per apka name likhe hai,
Oper talash-e-gumshuda or
Neeche zehni tawazun kharab likha hai
An SMS guilt-trip comparing stingy messaging to mosquito hunting: killing one bug does not make you a hunter, and two texts won't break the bank.
Jis tarah 1 machar ko marne se
tum shikari nahin ban jao gey
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Theek usi tarah 2 - 3 SMS karney se
tum bhikari nahin ban jao gey
A romantic-sounding yearning SMS that ends by comparing the sender's longing to a snake charmer waiting for his monkey to perform.
Dil se tera khayal na jaye to kya karun,
Tu hi bata tu yaad aaye to kya karun,
Hasrat yehi hai k ek nazar dekh lun tujhe,
Par madari rouz na laye to kya karun.
Plays up a friend's sad expression and teary eyes as deep concern — then diagnoses it as an iodine deficiency and prescribes table salt.
aap k chehre pe udaasi aankhon mei nami hai....
aap k chehre pe udaaaaaaasi aankhon mei nami hai....
NATIONAL NAMAK istamal karo aap mein IODINE ki kami hai!
Sky and ocean each offer a grand definition of intelligence, and the recipient's response to the question proves they have none of it.
Main nay pocha AQAL kia hoti hai?
Aasman ne kaha: Bohut buland hoti hai
Sagar ne kaha: bohut gehri hoti hai,
Aap ne kaha:
AQAL
Hain, woh kia hoti hai? :-)
A backhanded-compliment chain that rules out calling the recipient the moon, the sun, or even a monkey — each for increasingly unflattering reasons.
Mein tumko Chand kehdu magar usme Daag hai,
Suraj kehdun usme to Aag hai,
Socha Tumko Bandar keh Dun...
Magar us kambakhat me Bhi Dimaag hai.
Every prayer includes the recipient's name — not out of affection, but to ask the Almighty what kind of specimen He managed to create.
Jab say tumhain jana hai,
Jab say tumhain paya hai,
Her dua main tera hi naam aaya hai,
Taa kay pochon rab say,
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Yeh kaisa namoona banaya hai?
An insult dressed as a compliment: people say God took His time making you — because, as the SMS explains, idle work only gets done in leisure.
Log kehte hain k khuda ney aapko
badi fursat mein banaya hoga.... "
simple c baat hai,
faltu kaam fursat mein hi to kiye jate hain".
A dramatic, drawn-out buildup to one obsessive recurring thought — which turns out to be wondering what soap the recipient uses.
Reh reh kar mujh ko to bas ek hi khayal aata hai
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reh reh kar mujh ko to bas ek hi khayal aata hai....
woh kambakht na jane kaunse sabun se nahata hai!!