Funny Quote by Demetri Martin Download Open image “I was asked to name all the presidents. I thought they already had names” — Demetri Martin ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.4 out of 5 (4 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny
I thought it completely absurd to mention my name in the same breath as the presidency. — Dwight D. Eisenhower Copy Share Image
Kings and queens are expected to have offspring to carry on the name. There are no such demands on American presidents, but there is… — Michael Beschloss Copy Share Image
Folks, I can tell you I've known eight presidents, three of them intimately. — Joe Biden Copy Share Image
All of the American presidents, certainly all of the notable ones, have been pretty original. — Michael J. Knowles Copy Share Image
There have been many amazing Presidents in American history, including George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Dwight Eisenhower and Ronald Reagan, all of whom I greatly… — Donald Trump Copy Share Image
George Washington, Andrew Jackson, William Henry Harrison, Zachary Taylor, Ulysses Grant, Rutherford Hayes, James Garfield, Benjamin Harrison, Theodore Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower all rode… — Jeff Greenfield Copy Share Image
I think all of these things, there are always names floated - Newt Gingrich's name is out there. Sometimes you just want to make… — George Stephanopoulos Copy Share Image
Abraham Lincoln and Millard Fillmore had the same title. They were both presidents of the United States, but their tenure in office and their… — Barack Obama Copy Share Image
If you look at where presidents come from, they're former governors or senators. — Eleanor Clift Copy Share Image
I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert. — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
