Funny Quote by David Letterman Download Open image “My retirement plan was in place but Bernie Maidoff with my money.” — David Letterman ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 2.1 out of 5 (8 ratings) Copy quoteShare Funny Inspirational Money Plans Retirement
I had a very detailed retirement plan, and I feel like I've met every aspect of it: a lot of golf, a lot of… — Andy Roddick Copy Share Image
I, like everybody else, have lost most of my pension plan in this economic crash. So I have to. I'm going to call it… — Margot Kidder Copy Share Image
When I retired, I took my money from the financial planner and proceeded to present the front that everything was fine. I had to… — Ryan Leaf Copy Share Image
Your best retirement plan for retiring happy and prosperous - don't be a burden on others. — Ernie J Zelinski Copy Share Image
That retirement plan I had, getting out by 32, may still be the case even though at the minute it's in the back of… — Carl Frampton Copy Share Image
Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren't going to get rid of me that way. — Betty White Copy Share Image
I was honestly contemplating retirement. A lot of people don't know that, but I was done. — Gerald Green Copy Share Image
I quite clearly have made the right decision in my heart, retirement was the way. — Cathy Freeman Copy Share Image
Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I can hardly wait until Donald Trump announces his celebrity cabinet. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
If it wasn't for coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions… — Kelli O'Hara Copy Share Image
It's a hard thing to describe. It's just this sense that you got something to say. — Jonah Lehrer Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Congratulations to Facebook on going public with all my private information... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you were to send a werewolf to the moon, would he be a werewolf permanently? — Kristen Schaal Copy Share Image
