But that hair? That is comedy entrapment. People are not attacking your hair, they are defending themselves from something that appears like… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Comedy is the only form of entertainment where the audience doesn't know what to expect. In an evening, you might get ten… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Doing stand-up comedy is in the middle of a traffic jam getting everybody moving again. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“Classroom Activities 1. Using felt and yarn, make a hand puppet of Clarence Thomas . Ta-da! You're Antonin Scalia !” — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“Each party has a platform--a pre-fixed menu of beliefs making up its worldview. The candidate can choose one of the two platforms,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
That's the beauty of our show. Comedy or politics. We're sort of a mix. A space age polymer of both. A synthetic… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“Campaigns and elections are the process in which democracy separates the willing from the able, and goes with the willing.” — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I feel like the only thing that I can do, and I've been fired from enough jobs, that I'm pretty confident in… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“As heirs to a legacy more than two centuries old, it is understandable why present-day Americans would take their own democracy for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
“It is perhaps a sign of the strength of our republic that so few people feel the need to participate. That must… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“[Stump speeches] are to oratory what a stump is to a tree.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5fc/jon-stewart-455_communication_stump-speeches-are-to-oratory-what-a-stu_2388271.jpg)
