I don't think politics is any longer about a conversation with the country. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I would think black people think everything is about race. They are the ones who are on the outside of the game.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I thinking gay and straight people use the same putters, it's not a matter of putters but a matter of hole selection. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
What's with the poverty Tourette's? Why do these two think we need a hobo for president? — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Cause if there's one thing Islamic terrorists don't have is…(seriously thinking about it)…%#@&! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I really think [the Bush Administration]'s foreign policy agenda is to spread irony through the world. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think you lose your innocence when you have kids, because the world suddenly becomes a much more dangerous place. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I can't tell you how many times we'll run into a journalist and go, "Boy that's...I wish we could be saying that.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Watching these channels all day is incredibly depressing. I live in a constant state of depression. I think of us as turd… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think, with the administration they do Constitutionally-mandated things most of the time, but they don't - they fulfill the letter of… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
They create these rules and argue about things we don't even understand. It is like watching soccer. You sit there and you're… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts could really help. He's basically for people… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
One of the things that I do think government counts on is that people are busy. And it's very difficult to mobilize… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The government is just you know, blowing the doors off the media. And not everywhere, and I think, this is where you… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Thomas Jefferson once said: 'Of course the people don't want war. But the people can be brought to the bidding of their… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You think that sense of humor goes as far as our ideology. I think that ultimately, we have we have very interesting… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
People would like to place a standard on our show that doesn't exist. We're not set up for reporting; we don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Everybody talks about the entitlement generation. There is no time I'd rather live in than now, and there is no generation I… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think that's why they're so really - here's the disconnect. It's sort of this odd and I've always had this problem… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think people are used to people in show business having a lot of hubris. I think I have a normal amount… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
When my syndicated show got canceled, the next day I still knew how to write jokes. That was a huge revelation. Because… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think the metric by which television is considered liberal is literally based on the metric of liberalism in each person's soul.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
[John McCain] didn't believe me. I think anybody who's been in a POW camp for five years can - take eight minutes… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't think, if anything, I don't think it's a feeling of hopelessness that people feel. I think if they feel -… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If the world does need to repopulate at some point, the announcing team of Rob Lowe and Sofia Vergara, I think, would… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The important thing is, that I guess I don't spend any time thinking about what I am or what we do means.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If someone was to introduce hope and idealism into our political system, I think the tension that would create in other areas… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think that, if we do anything in a positive sense for the world, is provide one little bit of context, that's… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image