If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The beautiful thing about faking a news show is the topicality is delayed. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I'm a little bit too obsessed with the news. I find the news easier to follow than narrative entertainment programs. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I visit Fox News every now and again, and it's nice, because the Eye of Mordor is above the building. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
So Fox News is the voice of America and Obama is Stalin? Oh my God! I guess that makes me Yakov Smirnoff. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
To me, that's where a lot of satire lies. News used to hold itself to a higher plane and slowly it has… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I have not moved out of the comedian's box into the news box. The news box is moving towards me. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't you know, it's interesting. I think… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I think it's just about the machine is about reporting the news, and then reporting the news about the news, and then… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Everybody wrings their hands about Fox News. You know, "fair and balanced? Why, that's snide!" Yeah, okay, maybe they're not fair and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
At first the difference will be in whatever atmosphere I bring into it. It's not going to be like, 'I really want… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We feel no obligation to follow the news cycle. In other words, I felt no obligation to cover story in anyway, because… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Our show is obviously at a disadvantage with any of the other news shows we're competing against. For one thing, we are… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably alone. Valentine's Day is often times a,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The real challenge is when I'm at work, I'm at work. I'm locked in, I'm ready to go, I'm focused. When I'm… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
My life is a series of Hollywood orgies and Kabbalah center brunches with the cast of Friends. At least that's what my… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
