News Quotes by Bill Maher

17 News quotes by Bill Maher

Bill Maher’s 17 quotes on news cut straight to the heart of political discourse, mixing sarcasm with sharp critique. They invite readers to question the narratives that dominate our screens.

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I have a theory that the Internet makes people stupider. And Also FOX News makes people stupider.

Bill Maher

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I think the news people no longer have any idea of what covering the news is.

Bill Maher

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Donald Trump announced he got his own segment every Monday morning on Fox News. Just what Fox News needs - another blonde…

Bill Maher

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“If you send more than one news van to cover Dancing with the Stars , then you have to change your name…

Bill Maher

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There is good news. Scientists sent a probe down there in the Gulf of Mexico today and they found traces of seawater.

Bill Maher

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My father was a news guy, you know, he was in radio news. And so that was sort of in my DNA.…

Bill Maher

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New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in…

Bill Maher

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New Rule: All Fox News employees must now refer to President Bush as "my liege". If they are going to treat President…

Bill Maher

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I kid Fox News, but they may be a little biased. We had an earthquake here on Monday, and they reported that…

Bill Maher

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New Rule: News organizations have to stop using the phrase: "We go beyond the headlines." That's your job, dummy. You don't see…

Bill Maher

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New Jersey Mayor Corey Booker last night personally rescued a woman from a burning building. Or as Fox News reported it, 'black…

Bill Maher

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Rick Santorum beat Mitt Romney in three states on Tuesday. Got a huge amount of fundraising. That's the good news for Rick…

Bill Maher

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I don't know if you heard the news, but Wall Street now is a farmer's market. I don't want to say things…

Bill Maher

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I always wanted to be a comedian, even when I was a little kid. I had a funny father who was in…

Bill Maher

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People say to me all the time, "I get my news from your show." And that isn't the way they should get…

Bill Maher

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You're either a rationalist, or you're not. And the good news is a recent poll found 20% of adults under 30 say…

Bill Maher

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Now people want Brian Williams to resign, but it could have a happy ending. Apparently what he said was such a blatant…

Bill Maher

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More by Bill Maher

A lot of people say they are dyslexic; some have to realize that they are just stupid.

Bill Maher

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I saw this anti-drug commercial that showed a kid smoking pot in his dad's room with his friend. This kid finds a gun, the…

Bill Maher

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To all conservative women out there: If you are so sure the embryo needed for stem cell research are precious human life that can't…

Bill Maher

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Curious people are intersting people, I wonder why that is.

Bill Maher

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You see, the difference is the Republicans' hatred of Obama is based on a paranoid feeling about what he might do, what he's thinking,…

Bill Maher

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The food is out of this world!

Bill Maher

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New Rule: There is no devil, so stop blaming your screw-ups on him. Last week, one of the biggest evangelical leaders in America, the…

Bill Maher

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If we were a dog and God owned us, the cops would come and take us away.

Bill Maher

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“New Rule: The White House doesn't have to release the dead Bin Laden photos, but don't pretend we can't take it. We've seen pictures…

Bill Maher

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I think religion is bad and drugs are good.

Bill Maher

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I don't hate America. I love America. I want it to be better. The only way we can get it to be better is…

Bill Maher

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“New Rule: Americans must realize what makes NFL football so great: socialism. That's right, the NFL takes money from the rich teams and gives…

Bill Maher

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